Christmas Spirit

I'm having some trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year. As it turns out I am scheduled to work on Christmas Eve so making it home for the holidays isn't in the cards for me. While this isn't my first Christmas away from my family it seems to be a little more sad than last time. Last time I had been living away from my family for almost 5 years already. I was used to only going home for a couple weeks at a time from being in college. This time I've only been away for almost a month.  To make things a little harder, my roommate was able to go home. Obviously I'm glad that she gets to spend the time with her family, there's no reason why she shouldn't. But being alone on Christmas is definitely going to be strange. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big girl, I know I'll be just fine. And I don't want to sound whiney or anything. Like I said, the whole situation just makes it difficult to feel festive. I did buy some egg nog though, so that's a plus of course. And Karli did buy an adorable Christmas tree, living and all! Overall, it makes me appreciate the years I have spent with my family and I look forward to future holidays with them.

On another bummed note, since my sewing machine didn't get to make the trip to NYC (yet), I didn't get the chance to make the family Christmas pants this year! A fact that I think I'm more bummed out about than they are. I did however buy the fabric for them so I guess that saves me some time for next year!

And the icing on the cake? There's IS NO icing on the cake here. No snow! Don't get me wrong, I'm not a huge fan a snow, but Christmas isn't Christmas without some snow. And it hasn't snowed here once. Not gonna lie, it freaks me out a little bit. I'm still in NY aren't I? 

So while this won't be my ideal Christmas the good thing is, it's only one of many I have had and will have. And on that note, I think it's time for some nog and maybe a Christmas flick. 

subways

It's almost been a month since I've moved here and I'm just starting to feel comfortable riding the subway....to and from work anyway. It's not nearly as daunting as it seemed in the beginning. And with an ipod for tunes it's much more enjoyable. 

The only problem is that my musically driven brain tends to want this scene to happen every time I step on the train:

A girl can dream can't she?

an exchange

He sat across from her on the subway. They had never met before. 
Their eyes met. For a mere second alone. 
She smiles. He smiles. She looks away, fidgeting with her hands. 
Should she look again? Would he? 

She does.

He does. 

They smile again. Which he followed with a laugh. 
She couldn't help but laugh too. 
They look away. 

Three stops they go. Nothing more happens.

At the stop before hers, he begins to leave. 
He faces away from her. She looks. 
Seconds feel like years. 

The doors open. 

She looks.

He turns, 

with a wave,

and a smile. 

She smiles back. 

He leaves. 

I live in Manhattan

It still sounds alien to me! And I think it will take some time to get used to. To feel like I'm not on vacation. It's been a week and I can feel myself starting to get used to the vibe here. It's fast. Really fast. Everyone is busy doing their own thing and hustling everywhere.

So many people wear the same thing: black, boots, and buns. Before I came here I thought to myself  "well Sarah, be prepared to look under-dressed most of the time". So far that hasn't been the case. For some reason I had this idea that everyone here wore designer clothes and high heels . Not so. Everyday I see people wearing pretty normal outfits. It's almost comforting in a way. They're doing the NYC thing, and I can too. Seems silly, I know.

In a week I went from having 0 jobs to potentially 3 jobs. Let me tell you, both ends of the spectrum are stressful. Trying to find a job, sending resumes, going on interviews, finding more jobs. It's taxing. Then I get one job, I can't say no, plus it's a job I think I'll love. Then another calls. Then another. Now I find myself with options and trying to figure out ways to do it all. I need to do it all. Rent cometh. But I don't think they'll fit as well as my jobs back home. So now I find myself feeling bad having to say No to some and Maybe to others. All the while knowing the job I'll love won't be enough. Stressful.

There are definitely things I'm coming to love though. The gust of wind that hits as a subway train flies by. The ebb and flow of walking down crowded sidewalks. Seeing things that I've only ever seen on tv. The ornate tile work at each subway stop. Discovering my neighborhood and the great little spots in it (I look forward to finding more of them). Seeing friends whom I haven't seen in a very long time. Unlocking the door to my apartment. The tiny wine store down the block.

I'm starting to like it here. And I love that.