To My Mr. Swipe Right

I just don't think it's meant to be for you and I. Sure I could do it because everyone says I should and "that's how people meet these days" but is that really the story I want to tell our grandkids someday?? 

You see kiddies, this one day while I was glued to my phone, swiping through hundreds of online profiles I saw one that had this great filter. His profile gave me 5 characteristics that he chose to use to describe himself and I wasn't offended by them. So I swiped right and the rest is history. 

I just have a hard time with that being our "story" and maybe I'm delusional for thinking that but hey, I'm a romantic at heart. Consider it one of my top 5 characteristics.

Sincerely,

Your Ms. Swipe Right

To my old man

I can't wait to be old with you.

But not in an age sort of way. 

In an, at the end of the day you read the newspaper while I knit, sort of way. 

We'll play a record and have a glass of bourbon

And you'll tell me about politics and I'll try my best to listen.

I'll make you try on a new hat and you'll pretend to know what a circular needle is. 

And it'll be just right.

Ever yours,

Your old lady

To My Someday Hair Critic

There will be days when I spend a portion of my morning doing my hair in a particular way. And when you see this particular way I'm sure you'll agree that it looks like I've put my finger into a light socket. And you'll probably wonder if that's how I meant for my hair to look.

The answer will be, yes.

I don't know if I'll be able to explain why I like the way it looks but just know that I do and that it won't happen entirely often. So kindly let me know that I look like a crazy lady and by the next day the do will be gone, not to return for a while. Hopefully.

Love always,

Your Someday Crazy Haired Lady

My dearest

I need to get something out. Something that could change us more than anything we've ever been through. And only time will tell if that change will be for the better or worse. And the not knowing of that is enough to eat me alive. Then again, so is this thing inside me. So either way....

I think I'm in love with you.

There it is. In black and white. A real thing. Like the knot in my stomach and the quiver in my fingertips. Tangible. Words I haven't used in regards to anyone for many, many years. Words that I don't throw around frivolously. Words that I know won't get me much in return.   

Because right now our timelines don't match up. They never really have. Since we met I always had this underlying feeling that we hadn't been through enough life yet....we hadn't marinated enough to be who we needed to be for each other in that way.

You were ready for it at first. I was your type then. You said things and did things that made that more than evident to me. But I wasn't ready for that version of you in that way. Yet somehow over time, in our marinating, I seasoned out of being your type and you turned into mine. And now I want to say things and make that more than evident. But you're not ready for this version of me in this way. Funny how life works.

So now I find myself trying to get over you. You who I've never even been in a relationship with. I have to find a way to be okay with not knowing what the future holds; with not knowing whether our timelines are even meant to line up. I have to have faith that if it's meant to be, it will be, while not totally closing myself off to anyone else, like it would be so so easy to do.

Because I can't make you love me. I can't try to change every little thing about myself to fit your type again. I'm a different person now and if you aren't in love this version, then that's that. And that's something I'll have to be okay with. Because you mean too much to me to be otherwise.  

And maybe in five minutes I'll look back on this and regret every word or maybe in 50 years we'll laugh about the time I confessed my love in a blog post. Either way, it's out. No longer eating away at me. No longer just a thought that I've been rolling around in my head for months. And I'm glad for that.

Love, Me

To: My Eventual Kneeler

While I was at work today one of my coworkers bent down next to me to tie his shoe. While he was bending he looked at me and began to say...

"Sarah. I know we haven't known each other for very long but..."

I burst into laughter. Not a teehee kind of laughter. A loud, from the belly laughter. And I couldn't help it or stop it. It was my gut reaction. Then I had a thought.

I can't promise you that the same thing won't happen when you're the one on bended knee.

I can promise you that if it does, it won't mean a no. 

Can't wait,

You're someday Yesser

To My Future Fun,

Can we make forts? Like full living room, or bedroom for that matter, sheet and pillow forts? 

I can't help but feel that they will be crucial to our marriage. 

And if you're the right man for me, 

you'll feel the same way.

Ever Yours,

Your Future Fun

To: My Eventual Last Boyfriend

Let me apologize in advance for some of the men before you. Not all were bad, but not all were right either. The reason for this? 

For most of my life I didn't believe you existed. And part of me is still skeptical. But more and more I feel myself wanting you to be out there, which makes me start to believe that you are. It's a strange feeling but I'm learning to embrace it little by little. 

So please don't let me down.

And I'll try to do the same by keeping the wrong men to a minimum.

Ever Yours,

Your Last Girlfriend

To My Future Mustache-kini

I'll love you forever.

For real. 

Love always,

Your mustache lover

To My Future Type,

Lately I've been thinking about what type of guy you'll be. Looking back at my list of exes there isn't really much that they have in common, other than being the wrong guy as my mom would point out. But other than that, it's pretty spread across the board. Nerdy guys, alpha athletic types, quiet anti-socials and preps. Tall, short, skinny and not. There's even a wizard in there (yeah....high school). Point is, when I think about you, I can't help but wonder what type you'll turn out to be. Will you be the type that's man enough to wear a bow tie on any old day? Or the type that will embrace and support my love of Jason Mraz's music? Will you be the type that will dedicate your Sundays to church and football with me? Or will you the type who will dance with me in public places just for fun? Perhaps you'll be the guy whose hands will always be a little dirty from working with them every day? Or the type who can make any group of people laugh with your wit and charm?

Maybe you'll be all of those things in one wonderful package. Are my hopes too high for wanting that? Regardless, I look forward to finding out someday. Until then, take the time to figure it out and be confident about it. It'll come in handy by the time we meet.

Love always,

Your future little bit of everything

Dear Someday Fan,

Let me start out by saying, I absolutely love the Miami Dolphins. They have been my team since birth and I will never leave them. Thats just the way is. Now, this doesn't mean that i won't support you in your loving of your team. I may even wear their colors just for you! But please  realize that I will not abandon my team for yours. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings.

Oh, and one other thing, if you happen to be a Bills fan, we may not be able to be friends during football season. I only say this because I love you.  :)

I can't wait to spend our Sundays together!

Ever yours,
Sarah

To: My Forever Love

Divorce is not an option. We can not go into our life together with the thinking that "well if it doesn't work out there's always divorce". That just won't do. With me it's forever. Now I'm not always the easiest to deal with and I'm a little bit crazy at times. So you should think long and hard before you decide that you want to be stuck with my weirdness. And if I say yes, you'll know that you're gonna be it for me...till the end. So now you know.

Love,

Your Forever Love

To: My Future Pants Wearer

Just to warn you, I've been known to intimidate guys. I really have no idea why. Maybe it's because I'm not afraid to speak up, maybe it's the fact that I can choke most guys out, who knows. Regardless though, I'm gonna need you to put your man pants on when it comes to me. If you're gonna be my man I need you to be just that, a MAN. Put me in my place when it needs to be done, don't be afraid of me, take charge of certain situations, and don't let me run the show all the time. I don't think this is too much to ask.

Ever Yours,

Sarah

p.s. if you've already known me to this point, this letter isn't news to you. :)

To: My future lead vocalist

I can't wait to sing in the car with you.
Windows down, music blasting, singing our lungs out to each other.
It won't matter if we're on key or know the words.
And we'll use our held hands as the microphone.

ever yours,

Sarah

To: My Someday Family Man

I guess I should take some time to tell you that it's absolutely imperative that you get along with my family. I'm referring to my immediately family mostly. I need you to love them as if they were your own.

Why you ask? Because they're what I've got. Because they are me. Because you love me.

Especially my sister. You must get along with her the best. Because if you don't she'll never really know what it's like to have a brother. And I can't stand the thought of you both disliking each other during holidays and family get-togethers.

So you see, I'm a package deal. But not to worry, it's a great bundle, full of love and caring.

Ever Yours,

Sarah

To: My Medicine Man

I'm scarred.

My scars make me who I am. I wear some with pride and others with pain. 

I hope you can handle them because I will need you to. 

I will need you to come along and make me forget that I have them and more importantly, who inflicted them. 

It's a pretty high prescription to fill but I have faith that you'll be able to handle it.

Just be sure that you don't scar me too much as well. I know that scratches and bruises will happen but I don't know how many scars I will be able to take from you...stubborn as I am.

So be ready. Be ready with everything you've got.

Because Lord knows how many more scars I will acquire between now and the time we meet. (Hopefully few)

Love eternally,

Your Best Patient

To: The father of my future unborn child

I've seen this commercial lately, for cable or something, where this pregnant woman is going from room to room trying to sit down and get comfortable. Meanwhile her husband simply goes wherever she does and asks her if she's comfortable. I like this very much. I know that whenever you do knock me up I won't be totally immobile or dependent on you, I'm too stubborn. But at the same time I want you to be there for me 150% of the way, wanting to do anything you can to help me. Being pregnant isn't my job alone. If you're gonna go impregnating me then you better be prepared to support me for the next 9 months and beyond. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Love Forever and Always,

The mother of your future unborn child

To: My Forever Valentine

Just to let you know, there isn't too much pressure on the old Valentine's Day. I would much rather feel your love everyday than one day a year. Sure getting me something sweet and thoughtful is nice, but I will never scorn you for just saying "I Love You" and meaning it. That's the best gift you could ever get me. And FYI, I will most likely get you something because, well, I will just like getting you things!   Happy Valentine's Day

Your Forever Valentine,

Sarah

To: My Future Baby Daddy

Sometimes I think about our children...How many will we have? How many years will we wait between each one? Will God curse me with ALL GIRLS?! Are there any family names that we will want to continue on through them? Will they be athletic like their parents?(yes, you will be athletic) I hope that we can agree on names for them. How do you feel about Lincoln, or Everett? Something about those names appeals to me. I want you to be a huge part of our children's lives. I want them to say that their dad can fix anything. I never want them to wonder why daddy is never home or only watches TV all day. They should never doubt your love. I hope you have little secrets that don't get told to mommy. Don't be afraid to be the bad guy now and then too. Mommy doesn't want to be the bad cop all the time. I never want to feel like a single mother with a husband on the side. In return, I promise that you can set your salsa bowl on my pregnant belly (I know I'll certainly be doing it!).
I love our family already.

Ever yours,

Your Future Baby Momma

To: My Discoverer

         Now, since I'm still figuring out what kind of girl I am, and because I don't want to make it too easy for you, I've been thinking a lot lately about what kind of girl I'm not. So here goes nothing:

I'm not the girl who refuses to dedicate Sunday afternoons, Monday nights, and the occasional Thursday evening to football.

I will not need to cry on your shoulder every time.

I'm not the girl who needs to wear makeup to go to the gym. Nor am I the girl who uses 5lb weights and never sweats.

I would never keep you from a guy's night.  

I'm not afraid to get dirty.

I'm not the girl who needs to get wasted to have a good time.

I'm not a coffee drinker.

I won't need to know where you are all the time. 

I'm not the girl who won't eat a full meal in front of you (or anyone else for that matter)!

I'm not a liar. 

I'm not the girl who plays head games or will leave you guessing.

I'm not the girl who needs to be with you every second of every day...but I might want to. 

I'm not a cat person.
I'm not a country music fan.
I'm not the girl who will whine about being fat when I'm not.
I'm not meek or mild. 

Well, that's what I've got for now. I don't know if some of these will change by the time we meet but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Love Always,

Your Uncharted Territory

To: My future Mr.

Dear Future Mr.

I think about you from time to time. Not stressfully or in any great search. Just now and then I wonder what you're doing. Are you across town or across the country? Do I already know you or are we yet to meet? Maybe you're loving someone right now. Maybe you're waiting for me. Maybe we'll cross paths and not even know it. Regardless just know that I do look forward to our life together someday and I can't wait to share everything with you. Well, I can wait, but....you know what I mean.

Someday Yours,

Sarah