www

Why change? Everyone has his own style.

When you have found it, you should stick to it.

Audrey Hepburn

WIP progess

Well it's almost June and that means we're almost half way through the year. Where the heck has it gone??  I suppose that this is as good a time as any to have a little progress report of my 2105 resolution: finish all the WIPs!! 

Remember the Mystery KAL I mentioned back in January?? 

FINISHED!

To say that this is one of my favorite pieces ever is a major understatement. It's so cozy to wear and the colors are amazing. I ran into the designer of this shawl while I was at Vogue Knitting Live and he was pretty impressed...and I may or may not have fan-girled a little over him....it's whatever.

I also mentioned my chunky triangle shawl at the beginning of the year and I'm proud to say that it too is FINISHED!

While the weather was a little into Spring by the time I finished this I did get 2 or 3 days of wear in it. Let me tell you, this shawl and I are never going to part come winter. It engulfs me and  I couldn't be happier about it. And let's be honest, fringe is pretty much the shiz.

One piece I didn't mention was a super soft Alpaca cowl that I had promised Karli I would make for her. FINISHED!

Luckily it WAS still winter so she had ample time to be snuggled by this guy. Alpaca and winter go together like a kitchner stitched seam. Get it?? Yarn humor. Moving on.

Those are the only personal pieces I've finished so far. Now before you go saying "C'mon Sarah, we know you're always knitting....how can that be all???" let me show you the other things I've made this year for the store.

       

 

So yeah....at times I even wonder how my fingers don't fall off. There's also another very large shawl that I don't have a picture of yet as it's drying currently...stay tuned. Needless to say, I've been a busy bee. 

And speaking of needles...

...I also learned to needlepoint.

I can only hope that the my good momentum will continue! Going to Europe in a couple weeks will definitely put a little pause on some things but don't get it twisted, I'll have a project with me. Hooray for 2015 and getting shiz done! It feels pretty grand.

www

take a day to enjoy the museums in your town.

enjoy the art and take time to really let it all sink in.

-Tonia Sutherland

www

To be a hero or heroine, one must give an order to oneself.

-Simone Weil

moving on

Being a person with a roommate who works on a cruise ship makes for a decent amount of alone time. Being a person who is constantly thinking and thinking with a roommate who works on a cruise ship makes for an obscene amount of thinking time. And all that thinking time can really take over a persons mental and emotional being.

With all that in mind, it would only make sense when I tell you that something's been bugging me. A few somethings that equal one larger something, I've come to realize.

I have trouble moving on. 

A couple weeks ago I spent some time trashing the slew of old emails that was plaguing my inbox. They were out of control. As I got to the oldest of emails, I saw one from 2011 that quickly put a knot in my stomach. I knew exactly what is was, without opening it, and was immediately taken to the actions that led to that email.

In high school, there was this guy {please hold all eye rolls}. We'll call him G. I met G when I joined a local track team and was just coming out of a relationship. G happened to be friends with my ex, who was also involved with this team, but that didn't stop us from becoming friends. Needless to say, things progressed. G was a catch. He was an amazing athlete (obviously there were multi-points involved there), he made me laugh,he was a gentleman, and to top it all off, he was probably one of the sweetest guys I'd ever met. He was the type of guy who had the whole package but didn't know it. We liked each other a lot, but life is no fairy tale. He lived about 45-50 minutes away from me, a drive that parents aren't too thrilled about their teenagers making at night, and I wasn't exactly in a place to jump right into another relationship. It was my senior year and I was going to Florida for college. Bad timing. But that didn't stop us from hanging out when we could and using good ol' AIM to talk. We stayed in touch for a couple years in college and his parents even made a point to stop and visit when they were vacationing in Florida,  but as it usually goes, we grew apart.

Fast forward to 2011. I was living at home and somehow found out that so was G. Things picked up right where they had left off. We went on a real date, started talking regularly, and it seemed like things could actually go somewhere this time. I was hopeful but wanted to take things slowly. I had made some decisions about my approach to dating and was very honest with G about them. He was his sweet, respectful self and I was very appreciative of that. After all, I had known this guy for years. There was a history and trust there. If there was any guy I didn't have to be cautious of, it was G. Until it wasn't. Without going into detail, while hanging out one day, G crossed a line. I left and didn't look back. I couldn't believe it. I was hurt. I was confused. I couldn't comprehend what had happened and the fact that it was G. Looking back I still don't know if maybe I was partly to blame or not. Maybe I didn't make the line as clear as I thought I had? I don't know. Later that day I received the email. It was a deep, heartfelt apology. He said all the right things and none of it seemed fake or disingenuous. He was truly regretful and asked for my forgiveness in time.

I never responded.

I knew he was sorry. I knew he meant every word. He wasn't a monster. He was a guy who made a mistake, a really big mistake, that I didn't know how to deal with. I didn't know what to do so I did nothing.

That was the last time I heard from G, yet I haven't gotten rid of his email. I don't know why. At times I see it and think, maybe I need to send a response, even if it's been almost 4 years. Other times I think I made the right choice by cutting ties and walking away. So why do I still have the email?  I honestly have no idea. What is it that I'm holding on to by keeping it in my inbox?

Maybe I need to feel the pain of the situation from time to time (as messed up as that sounds)

Maybe I like to be reminded that someone felt s0mething for me...even if it was years ago

Maybe a part of me isn't willing to truly close that door

It could be all of those things at once. I don't know. What I do know is that it's time to start figuring these things out. I find myself dwelling on the past more than I'd like to admit. Even if it's not in an angry or vengeful way, I think about people who have hurt me, loved me, and everything in between. The past is the past and I need to learn to move on. I need to let it go and look forward. It's hard to admit and even harder to execute. I don't know where to begin.

In the case of G....do I let sleeping dogs lay or do I reach out for some sense of closure? {Is closure even real??? Or did some clingy lady make it up to make herself feel better about needing "just 1 more talk" about an ended relationship?} Sometimes I really do feel like I've forgiven him so maybe I need to tell him that or it doesn't count.

How do I move on?

www

Struggle is a never-ending process. Freedom is never really won, you earn it and win it every generation.

-Coretta Scott King

inspired by vkl

If it seems as though I fell off the planet last week, it's because I did. Vogue Knitting Live took over my life and now that the dust has settled I feel more inspired than ever. For you non-knitter/crocheters out there that don't know, Vogue Knitting Live is a huuuuuuge event, held all over the country, where shops, designers, and yarn enthusiasts come for a weekend of shopping and classes and crafty togetherness. Every year my store has a booth in the market and while I'm pretty exhausted by the end of the weekend, I can't help but be super inspired. I get to meet other knitters and see how they're inspired and I also get to meet new yarns and the people that make them. Just seeing people in their knitted sweaters made me want to go home, not pass go, not collect $200, and finish my sweaters!

It's easy to forget what a large community the crafting world is. There are constantly new techniques and materials being brought to light and having all those crafty vibes in one place for a weekend was a real jolt for me. I'm ready to take on the world!!! and by "the world" I mean my huge pile of unfinished projects.

2015 is off to a grand start! 

my co-worker/squirrel, Kelsey, and I celebrating 5 years of the store going to Vogue

www

Beauty is a radiance that originates from within and comes from inner security and strong character

-Jane Seymour

www

each week my day planner has a wonderful quote by an amazing woman so i thought to myself "hey self, why don't you share the wealth of wisdom these women have, and why don't you share it on wednesdays??" So here they are, in a collection i will call, womanly wisdom wednedays (www)

Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside 

-Dr. Melba Colgrove

2015....the year of the wip(s)

I've decided that my wonderful track record of starting projects and never finishing them is going to be dealt with this year. I have so many wonderful things on needles, half stitched, and in progress that I can't wait to have, and yet the minute I see the next love of my life pattern it's like I have blinders on and things get pushed aside. Well no more! I am determined to spend this year finishing the things I've started. For my sanity and my wallet.

Like my mood blanket! Needless to say, 2014 has officially come to a close and while I'm not a whole year behind, I need to catch up from September. I cringe at the word. This picture is quite dated from it's current state but still....I've got a ways to go. Did I mention that I haven't woven in 1 end?? Not 1. There are more than 365 ends to weave. I cry a little just thinking about it. ugh.

Then there's this super amazing shawl I've been working on. Again, the progress since this picture has been great, but I'm still not finished. I can't wait to have this beast of a shawl to wrap around myself and keep me toasty warm. Here's hoping I get to use it this winter....we'll see. 

And of course I have not 1, but 2 sweaters in progress. The one to the right only needs sleeves and it's finished. That's all! The one to the left I started BEFORE the one on the right. Are you seeing the pattern here....

Then there is my mystery shawl KAL...the mystery of which has been revealed for months since I wasn't able to knit the clues as they were sent out. {palm to forehead} 

This is merely a sampling of the things that need to be completed. I'm not proud of my irrational lack of self control when it comes to starting new projects but admitting it is the first step...right?? People change...right?? There's hope for me...RIGHT???? We'll see. I'm very determined to make this happen, even if it takes me more than a year, and hopefully putting it out into the world will be keep me more accountable to doing it. So every now and then I will try to post my most recent accomplishment here, and if a while goes by there's no harm in saying "Hey Sarah....hows are those WIPs coming along????". It takes a village.

right place, right time

It’s time to let the cat out of the bag on something that I’m doing come June. The production company that I stage manage for has received a grant to take a show to Luxembourg.

And I get to go with it. 

Is this real life?? Is this my real life??? Before this came to pass I had been getting the itch to travel and really was saddened by the idea that I probably wouldn’t have another opportunity to do so…or at least not so conveniently as I did in college. I have a very bare passport that needs attention but living in NYC doesn’t exactly let a gal budget a trip overseas. So it was a pretty large pipe dream. When I began to hear mentionings of this show for Luxembourg, I didn’t want to assume anything or get my hopes up. It sounded too good to be true. When it became clear that not only was the show happening but that my presence was wanted there, I could hardly believe it. 

Would I be able to afford it?? How do I ask my full-time job for 2 weeks off?? Where the heck is Luxembourg?? Is Luxembourghese a language?? 

Needless to say, there were a couple hurdles I needed to get over before letting myself get swept up in the idea. After a few more conversations about the logistics of the trip and crunching my own numbers, it became clear that I would be able to afford it. When I talked to my boss about the time away not only did she say yes but she practically demanded that I go. In her words “If you had asked for any other reason I’d have to think about it, but this is what you’re meant to do with your life. This is why you moved here. You have to go.” {How I ever became so blessed, I’ll never know} A little Google research led me to learn that Luxembourg is a small country nestled in the middle of Belgium, Germany, and France and that Luxembourghese is not a word. However, Luxembourgish IS a word and it’s one of the languages spoken there, along with French and German.  

I’ve been pinching myself for weeks and will continue doing so until June. I never would have imagined that this theatre thing would work out so well AND bring me an opportunity like this. It only shows me how moving to this city was exactly what I was supposed to do with my life.