auntie

The biggest thing that has happened these past couple weeks didn't even really happen in these past couple weeks. It was merely announced to the public. I'm officially going to be Auntie Sarah. That's right folks, my sister and brother are expecting their first child. It's funny that as I type this my eyes are welling up...something that hasn't happened since the day they told me. I'm just so happy for them and for my sister especially. If you should know anything about Cassie (Trostle) Jindra it's that she was put on this earth to be a mother. Having children is not a marital duty for her, it's a personal necessity....something to make her truly complete. So knowing that it's happening for her, really happening, fills me with so much joy that it seems to squeak out of my eyes at times. Then add to that the fact that this will officially make me someones Aunt...happiness overflow.

The one thing that saddens me about this glorious event is that I live as far away as I do. I never had to give much thought to the idea of my niece or nephew growing up and not really knowing who I was. It always seemed like a distant idea. But now it's here. I know technology is great for staying in touch and skype is a wonderful tool for that, but it's just not the same as being there in person to see the cute facial expressions and hear the baby noises first hand.  And what about cousins?? I'm not having children anytime soon so who knows how much older this child will be by the time I get around to making my own. The thought of mine and my sisters kids not being able to get along because of their age difference is sad. Cousins are an awesome thing to have and they can even act as extended siblings. Will mine and Cassie's kids have that kind of relationship? On April 13, 2014 I'd have to say probably not. And that makes me sad. More so for our kids than for me. Maybe these are things I shouldn't worry about too much but when you're one and only sister gets pregnant for the first time, it happens.

Of course this also means that I will have LOTS of baby knitting to do! Chickpea (as we're affectionately calling him/her) will need a good amount of handmade things from Auntie Sarah and so far I've already picked our patterns and yarn for an adorable baby blanket as well as the cutest hedgehog sweater in all the land(my sister has a pet hedgehog...my first nephew Huckleberry). Chickpea will be the cutest thing in the world! I'm actually really excited to get into making baby things. They're just so cute!

All of our lives are about to change come September and it's going to be absolutely thrilling. I can't wait to meet this little Chickpea and be a part of his/her life. And until I meet a wonderful man I may or may not use Chickpea for a little advertisement. Can you blame me??

to have and have not

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm 26 or that I'm living on my own for real for the first time or a combination of both of those things, but I've discovered certain ways about myself that have developed as of late. Ways that I go about my life; things that I choose to have or have not. Some of these things are pretty trivial but have become very much a part of my fiber as a 26 year old. I couldn't help but take a little inventory of them.

Things I can't live without:

Rainbow Sprinkles- If I'm gonna pay for the ice cream I will ALWAYS pay for rainbow sprinkles too.

Facial Hair- On a man of course. It used to be optional to me but I've found in recent times it's become a real necessity. Like a sign of ones manhood.

Dark Chocolate Chips- I keep a bag in the freezer at all times. They complete me.

Night Cream- How did I never invest in this before? My face has been thanking me lately.

DVR- I don't think I could ever go back. 

Multivitamins- I know I don't eat all the things my body needs so these are the next best thing. It's time to start really taking care of this vessel I'm using.

Library Card- Free books....need I say more?? 

Eggs- I was never much of an egg eater growing up (My sister filled that role) but since moving here I find that eggs have become an essential part of my diet. They're just so versatile and delicious!

Glass Water Bottle- Free liquid refreshment from a tap in a reusable container? Done. 

Things I can live without:

  Mini Jean Skirts- There's a time and a place and I feel like that time and place already happened for me. And it was great while it lasted. 

Designer Duds- I thought I would get sucked into the "label" game when I moved to NYC but I think being here has only reinforced the ridiculousness of it all. Old Navy V-Necks for life!

MTV- I used to really love me some "crappy tv" as my college roommates called it and don't get me wrong, every now and then I'll flip through the channels and indulge but I find myself not really caring about the absurd programs on this channel anymore. 

Pop- Yes, I still call it pop. Out of sight out of mind and I'm better off for it.

Bottled Water- I just hate paying for things that I can get for free.

Beauty Magazines- I've read it all before Cosmo and I'll never fit into any of those clothes Vogue. Sorry. 

Clubbing- I love to dance but I also like to have the space to do so. And the air to breathe. And the people to hear or talk to. And the bar to get to.

Iceberg Lettuce- My mom loves it so that's what I grew up eating and I still hate it. If I want water I'll just drink it. No need to chew it with dressing. Romaine for this girl!

The iPhone- I survived before it and I'll continue to do so without it in my life. Sorry iLovers. I just don't get the hype.

self survey

My best came across this little survey the other day here and filled it out in her own blog. It's a collection of questions meant to help you survey your life and where it's going. It seems fitting for me as I'm starting to look to the future and what that will look like. So here they are:

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 21 or 22. Still in that middle phase of not being a child but not quite feeling like an adult yet.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. If you never try things you won't know what you're truly capable of.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? I think it becomes a sense of necessity. People aren't encouraged enough to find the things they love to do and make a living out of them, so often we find whatever will make us money whether we like it or not. Then years down the road we realize that we are miserable and don't know how we got ourselves into such a hole.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? I hope not but looking back at my life currently that might be the case.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? People's hateful attitudes. It's ignorant and pointless.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Any work involving helping others and spreading some love!
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Settling currently. While I do enjoy my work on some level, it's not entirely fulfilling.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I'd start expressing my true feelings more. I would stop being afraid of them and really embrace them I'd stop worrying about my loans and just do what I love.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? The majority but there have been curve balls along the way that I had no say over. 
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing things right. I feel like there is this path I "need" to take instead of "should" be taking.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? I mention that she is my friend and ask that they kindly stop. I would hope that she would do the same for me.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? laugh as often and as hard as possible.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? It would depend on the situation but more likely than not.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Two Words....Lady Gaga.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? View relationships. I have a pretty old school idea of how relationships should go and I don't think many people feel the same way.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because everyone's unique in what gets them going.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Pack up and travel somewhere without a plan. It's frightening! And potentially expensive.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? State- Georgia. It was always where I said I was going to live when I was little. Not too hot, not too cold. Country- Greece. I've never been but it seems gorgeous and so natural still.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No. I came to terms with the way elevators are many many years ago. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton. Worrying is a terrible disease.
22. Why are you, you? I'm a product of my childhood and my parents. They set me up with a great foundation that I've been building on throughout my life. And no matter what I put on top of it, I've always got that foundation that will never change.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I'd like to think so. I try to treat others the way I want to be treated.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a near by friend. If it's a true friend no amount of distance will effect your friendship.
25. What are you most grateful for? Living in a country where I'm free to pursue whatever I want!
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Lose the old ones.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? Not yet.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? No. No.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? Sunday lunches at my Gramps' house. It was a family tradition that kept us all close and after my Gramps died we stopped doing it.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? When I'm working in a theatre, doing what I love.
32. If not now, then when? SOON.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Not a damn thing.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Yes. Those are the best.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because religions tend to have blinders on their love and they want everyone else to love the same way. There isn't enough tolerance included in their love.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? Yes.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Only to start another one.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I enjoy. I'm a much more productive when I'm busy AND loving what I'm doing.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? YES and it's frustrating.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Too long ago.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My family.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No. Neither will get your anywhere.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Being alive is functioning normally from day to day...just surviving. Truly living is enjoying your life and thriving in what you do.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? When it becomes stressful to calculate.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Sometimes even though we've learned from a mistake we feel some shame in it.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Say bold things. Wear crazy clothes. Fall on my ass.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? A few nights ago when I had trouble falling asleep.
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? Theatre. Crafting. My friends. Yes Yes and Yes!
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? Probably not. Unless is something specific I wrote about in my blog.
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? More than ever I feel like I'm making decisions for myself. And it feels great. 

What an eye opening survey. Even if you don't fill it out for all to see, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions. It really makes you look at your life and think about some things you'd like to change or improve on. Maybe you'll even surprise yourself with some of your answer. Thanks Violet! 

a new year

resolution- the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

As I started thinking about resolutions this year I had this overwhelming sense of....realism I guess. I wanted to make my resolutions realistic. Sure I could say that I'm gonna eat healthier, go to the gym everyday, become fluent in a language, and write a book, but I know myself. I know myself well enough to know that while those all sound great in theory, the likelihood of them actually getting entirely accomplished is slim. Really slim. So I wanted to make sure that the things I was committing myself to this year were actual and realistic goals to work toward. I also made sure that they were fulfilling to me personally, things that I've recognized in myself that I don't like and that I want to change. So, without further ado, here it is, my list of resolutions for 2012!

Spend more time on both my blogs. I tend to give this one more attention than my craft blog and I shouldn't play favorites with my children! 

Do more crafting/how-to's to add to said craft blog. There are so many new projects I want to try and learn.

Stop using the F word so often/at all. I used to hate the word but college turned me into a bit of a sailor. 

Call people more often. I've become too dependent on texting and chat and I find myself missing people's voices.

Keep reading. This was on from last year and I did a pretty alright job of it so I'd like to keep it going.

Be more optimistic. I find my sense of realism turning to pessimism sometimes and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's pessimism.

 Be more financially conscious. Another one stemming from last year. I find myself going through waves of being really diligent about it and then being totally careless. Not good. 

There you have it. I may come up with more as the year goes on but that's what great about resolutions, there's nothing that says that you can only start them on January 1st! Good stuff eh? 

I really look forward to coming back to this blog as the year goes on. I don't know that I've ever actually written down my resolutions so I think it will be a great way to keep myself accountable. And for those of you reading this, feel free to ask me about how they're coming along throughout the year. Nothing makes you stick to a decision like some accountability. Hopefully by next year I will be the person who is all these things and has a whole new list of things to better myself. 

So here's to 2012! I choose to believe that this year will be glorious and rewarding!! See, one resolution already in action! Cheers!

 

If you're looking for the girl...

...who loves the color pink. That always has her nails done and her hair in the perfect style; the right outfit for every occasion. The one with a size 2 waist and thin, slender legs. Who never swears and sits straight at the dinner table. That eats appropriate portions at every meal and never gets food on her face. The girl who has flawless skin and perfectly done make-up. The cheerleader. The one with a boyfriend on her arm or that turns every head when she walks through a room. The demure, polite, Audrey Hepburn-esque girl. The super model.

If you're looking for that girl...you won't find her here.


Instead, you'll find the girl who owns hardly any pink. Who usually has chipped nail polish and whose hair is a mess; the t-shirt and jeans kinda girl. The one with a size 8 waist and legs that people automatically identify her with a soccer player. Who swears against her best efforts not too and has a horrible slouching habit. That loves to eat too much and always manages to get food on her face. The girl who's skin is never flawless and barely wears make-up. The clown. The one whose only "boyfriend" is the 5yr old she nannies and that usually only turns heads for laughing too loudly in public. The outspoken, attempts to be polite, wishes she were Audrey Hepburn girl. The tom boy.

That's who I am. Who I'll probably always be. Sure some things may change as I get older, wiser, more mature. But at the end of it all, I don't ever see myself fitting the "typical girl" mold. I may be average in a lot of ways, but I'll never be typical.

I'll never be the A typical girl and I love that about me.
And if someone else doesn't, well that's just too bad.

yep...that's me.

chameleon

Lately I've been thinking a lot about who I am. And slowly I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm a lot of different types of people, all in one. Now, most people would say something like "you just haven't figured out who you are yet", but I disagree. I don't find myself feeling a need to identify with any one type of person; or even two types for that matter.  I enjoy being able to relate to anyone I come across...no matter what their walk of life. Like a chameleon, I adapt to my surroundings but still remain myself. Even in high school I was never one to belong to any one "clique" of kids. I was cool with the jocks, band kids, musical types, and special ed students. I give a lot of the credit for this to my school though. It wasn't very big and everyone did a little of everything which made it easy for everyone to get along. But it was definitely a foundation for me.

T-Shirt from Blend Apparel

At times I feel like I'm cheating on some parts of myself when I'm favoring one type or another. Or like I HAVE to choose a few and stick to them. But then I realize that ignoring those other parts, no matter how small they are, would be untrue to myself. And that I can not do. Even if my different types tend to contradict each other, I still think it's important to recognize and accept them.
Who knows, maybe over time I'll become more of one type or another, but I really hope that doesn't happen. Being as extroverted as I am (and trust me...I AM) it's really convenient to be able to make friends so simply.
So......who am I? I'm an extroverted tomboy in a skirt. I'm a loyal friend and loving family member. I would cease to exist without music, delicious foods and lots of laughter. I'm a child of God with a bit of a dark streak.

I'm a parfait of personality!  And that's just the way I like it.   

my weirdness

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

~Dr. Seuss

I've always considered myself to be a weird girl so when I read this quote it struck a chord with me. Plus it's by Dr. Suess and since he is a doctor and all, he clearly knows what he's talking about. 

I just love the idea of there being someone out there who I can "fall in mutual weirdness" with.

Because Lord knows the guy I end up with will have to come with some weirdness of his own.

girl put your records on...

a perfect day...

 I want a record player


There's just something about listening to records that seems to vintage and lovely

 Growing up we had a huge old record player and my grandparents record collection...














...I would listen to all of them in one sitting; in love with the way they sounded and watching the needle work it's way to the center.

can this PLEASE be me??

the good ol' days

Records are so simple and pure.




From a time when life was simple and innocent...




...a time when boys courted girls and mothers wore pearls.

why shouldn't this be me someday??

I think it's time I look to make this happen.


I feel warm and happy just imagining it. 


And shouldn't everyone strive to feel warm and happy?

Never will I ever...

...go sky diving...

...wrestle an alligator...

...be 120lbs...

...pierce my bellybutton...

...play baseball and be good at it...

...be a super model...

...do a triathlon...

...stop choosing to be happy everyday...

...go streaking...

...have an affair...

...hate someone for no legitimate reason...

...be Miss America...

...give up on doing what I love to do...

...stop liking sports...

...dumb myself down to attract men...

...get a tattoo on my face...

...be someone's doormat...

...say 'I Love You' and not mean it...

...and I wouldn't have it any other way!

buts

I own a watch but I rarely wear it 

I don't want to have children yet but I want to be a young mother

I don't like nuts but I love snickers bars

I don't want to live in Falconer forever but I would for the the right person

My feet are a size 9 but I'm only 5'4"

 

I believe in second chances but not thirds and fourths

No one can tell me when I'm wrong but sometimes I am

I'm not a virgin but I've never made love

Vanilla ice cream is my favorite but I make an exception for Ben and Jerry's Fish Food 

I'm loud and outspoken but I keep so much more inside

I don't want to get fat but I look forward to being pregnant...someday

I can be in the worst mood imaginable but a great song can change my day

I hate being cold but I love needing to wrap up in a blanket

So I'm a bundle of contradictions. I think sorting them out is part of growing up and figuring out who I am. Some things will change, some things won't. the Joy is in the Journey

social networking-1, romance-0

I don't know if it's my age, the way I was raised, or just where I am in my life, but lately I am entirely over the idea of people hiding behind things like facebook, IM, and text. In particular, people who are romantically interested in someone. With the invention of these networking devices it became easy for people to not have face-to-face interactions and hide behind their computer. Now I'm not trying to point any fingers because I've done it too. But I find myself being more annoyed by it now.A couple months ago the strangest thing happened. It seemed like once a week a guy came out of the wood work and was interested in ME (weird in the first place because I wasn't really putting myself out there. at all). Now of course all this attention was flattering and part of me enjoyed it but I couldn't help being bothered by the fact that ALL of them went about their "smooth moves" on facebook! One of them is someone I see on a fairly regular basis whom I've know for years. Since I moved home whenever we were around each other, he wouldn't even speak to me! Now, knowing him, I do know that he is a very shy guy but still, how are you going to talk to my mom (who was next to me!) and not say hello and then send me a facebook message overflowing with your emotions. I'm not Medusa! You will NOT turn into stone if you look at my eyes!
I can recall two other times where something similar happened, only those two skipped the message all together and used chat or just posted their number on my wall! All I can do is wonder: Is this how relationships are started now? Am I going to start my next relationship with my computer and not a person? I don't think I'm okay with that. I think people should have the guts to look someone in the eye and ask them a question. "Will you go out with me sometime? Can I call you? Will you be my significant other?" I can't remember the last time I HEARD any of those questions and I don't think I'm the only one.
When did rejection become something so terrifying that people can't just talk to each other? The worst answer one can get is a "no". So what! It's really not the end of the world. I intend on being more present and enjoying peoples faces more; hearing voices more. Try it! It can only enrich the relationships you have.