self survey

My best came across this little survey the other day here and filled it out in her own blog. It's a collection of questions meant to help you survey your life and where it's going. It seems fitting for me as I'm starting to look to the future and what that will look like. So here they are:

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 21 or 22. Still in that middle phase of not being a child but not quite feeling like an adult yet.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. If you never try things you won't know what you're truly capable of.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? I think it becomes a sense of necessity. People aren't encouraged enough to find the things they love to do and make a living out of them, so often we find whatever will make us money whether we like it or not. Then years down the road we realize that we are miserable and don't know how we got ourselves into such a hole.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? I hope not but looking back at my life currently that might be the case.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? People's hateful attitudes. It's ignorant and pointless.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Any work involving helping others and spreading some love!
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Settling currently. While I do enjoy my work on some level, it's not entirely fulfilling.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I'd start expressing my true feelings more. I would stop being afraid of them and really embrace them I'd stop worrying about my loans and just do what I love.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? The majority but there have been curve balls along the way that I had no say over. 
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing things right. I feel like there is this path I "need" to take instead of "should" be taking.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? I mention that she is my friend and ask that they kindly stop. I would hope that she would do the same for me.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? laugh as often and as hard as possible.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? It would depend on the situation but more likely than not.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Two Words....Lady Gaga.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? View relationships. I have a pretty old school idea of how relationships should go and I don't think many people feel the same way.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because everyone's unique in what gets them going.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Pack up and travel somewhere without a plan. It's frightening! And potentially expensive.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? State- Georgia. It was always where I said I was going to live when I was little. Not too hot, not too cold. Country- Greece. I've never been but it seems gorgeous and so natural still.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No. I came to terms with the way elevators are many many years ago. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton. Worrying is a terrible disease.
22. Why are you, you? I'm a product of my childhood and my parents. They set me up with a great foundation that I've been building on throughout my life. And no matter what I put on top of it, I've always got that foundation that will never change.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I'd like to think so. I try to treat others the way I want to be treated.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a near by friend. If it's a true friend no amount of distance will effect your friendship.
25. What are you most grateful for? Living in a country where I'm free to pursue whatever I want!
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Lose the old ones.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? Not yet.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? No. No.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? Sunday lunches at my Gramps' house. It was a family tradition that kept us all close and after my Gramps died we stopped doing it.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? When I'm working in a theatre, doing what I love.
32. If not now, then when? SOON.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Not a damn thing.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Yes. Those are the best.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because religions tend to have blinders on their love and they want everyone else to love the same way. There isn't enough tolerance included in their love.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? Yes.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Only to start another one.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I enjoy. I'm a much more productive when I'm busy AND loving what I'm doing.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? YES and it's frustrating.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Too long ago.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My family.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No. Neither will get your anywhere.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Being alive is functioning normally from day to day...just surviving. Truly living is enjoying your life and thriving in what you do.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? When it becomes stressful to calculate.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Sometimes even though we've learned from a mistake we feel some shame in it.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Say bold things. Wear crazy clothes. Fall on my ass.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? A few nights ago when I had trouble falling asleep.
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? Theatre. Crafting. My friends. Yes Yes and Yes!
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? Probably not. Unless is something specific I wrote about in my blog.
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? More than ever I feel like I'm making decisions for myself. And it feels great. 

What an eye opening survey. Even if you don't fill it out for all to see, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions. It really makes you look at your life and think about some things you'd like to change or improve on. Maybe you'll even surprise yourself with some of your answer. Thanks Violet!