There IS hope afterall

Nacho Bake Chicken.....Mmmmmmm!!

I made dinner tonight. An no one died!

HA! Take that doubters!!

ok ok, so most of that may be directed at myself. But still, regardless of the fact that I've made this dish a handful of times, I still get a small sense of accomplishment when the people that eat it like it. And come on, what's not to like?? It's nachos on a chicken breast! Win-win in my book.

alright, celebration over. just had to get it out of the ol' system is all.


p.s. if you want the recipe email me at sarahashleytrostle@gmail.com and I'll give it to ya! :)

the itch

I've got the itch. The itch to get up and go. I can't help but feel like there is so much I'm missing by living at home and not pursuing my career right now.

Riverside Theatre, Vero Beach FL

I miss the theatre. The hustle and bustle of getting ready for opening night. The hard work that goes into making a show come together. Getting to know a group of people you've never met before and knowing that that combination will never be recreated.

I miss living in a place brimming with culture. With night life. A place with Saturday morning markets and hole-in-the-wall cafes. A place where there are tons of opportunities to do anything! New people to meet every day.

But I'm in a corner. My school loans keep me at home where I don't have to pay rent. At home where I have 3 jobs handed to me. At home, a place I told myself I would never get stuck in. And here I am, feeling as stuck as ever.

My only consolation is that hopefully a year from now I will be able to make some kind of move. For my career and for my sanity. Here's hoping.

sleep glorious sleep

Sleep is one of those things that we take for granted. It's not until after you can't seem to sleep through the night that you realize how wonderful sleep really is! For about 3 weeks now I've been unable to get a full nights rest. I go to bed at a decent hour feeling exhausted, sleep really great for about 4 hours, and then toss and turn for the rest of the morning. It's AWFUL. There's no other way to  put it.

So not only am I tired during the day now, but I'm getting snippy too. I'm starting to get irritated very easily and it's not good for those around me. There's no room for exhaustion or rudeness in any of my jobs. AND to make matters worse, so far any sleeping aids I've taken don't seem to work. I tried Melatonin and it didn't effect me at all. I tried a sleeping pill and all it did was make me twice as drowsy every time I woke up. I'm coming to the end of my rope. I. need. sleep. Does anyone have any suggestions or remedies? I prefer something natural but at this point I'm pretty much open to anything. I'm tired of feeling tired!

my own place

I can't wait to have a place of my own. Even if it's just a studio apartment....at least it will be mine.

Mine to clutter and clean whenever I choose. Mine to decorate in whatever colors I like.

doesn't that seem perfect?

A place to have my things out. And maybe even have a book case with a record player on the top shelf. And maybe it will look something like this:


Everyone needs their own space. Space to be alone and with ones thoughts. A space to be surrounded by the things that really mean something to them.

Sometimes I imagine my future and eventual place. It will be warm and inviting. Like walking into sunshine.

And it will be perfect flawed and random and the styles may not all make sense.

But most importantly, it will be 100% me. 

Gentlemen...

...can you all dress like this more often? 

Just sayin' us ladies would really, REALLY appreciate it.

Because, like ZZ Top said...

...every girls crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

I was never looking back in regret. I never thought, Oh, why didn't I become an actress? or Why did I just go paddling along after John? I've always walked along right by his side, and he's always supported everything I do.
 
-June Carter Cash


Happy Birthday June. You're were a strong woman I wish I could have known.

to be a good wife?

One of my three jobs is working in the dining room of an old, wooden hotel along the lake. I could write a whole post on the history of the hotel alone so I won't get into the details of that now. Needless to say, it's a pretty cool place to work. Anywho...last night, while in between meals I was hanging around the kitchen, as I often do.

Now, let it be known that I am pretty fascinated by things that I'm not particularly good at. Cooking is one such thing. In my defense, I'm not horrible at cooking, and as long as I have a recipe to follow I can make humanly edible dishes. But it's not my strong suit. That is to say, my brain doesn't function very creatively when it comes to cooking. I can create patterns for purses and write music and recite monologues and that is where my creative juices really flow. My sister got all the creative cooking genes though so I get to enjoy the fun things she makes! {she also has a blog about cooking, aptly named Cooking with Cassie}

So, because of my lack of totally awesome cooking abilities, I really enjoy watching chefs, especially in person, as they cook and prepare meals. I'm also a firm believer in the idea that seeing the effort being put into your food makes it taste that much better!

On this particular night, the head chef and sous chef were each preparing dishes so I found myself floating back and forth to watch them in action. It was pretty neat to watch. The head chef at the hotel is only 23 and has already established himself as a talented chef. {23!!! what have I been doing with my life??!?!!!?!}As I was watching him and explaining to him that I'm not entirely apt at cooking he said something that was awfully interesting:

Well if you want to be a good wife someday, you better learn how to cook

I couldn't help but to find this statement hard to swallow. So if I don't get better at cooking I won't be a good wife? Are those really the stipulations for making a husband happy? I don't think so. It's safe to say that the man I trick into marrying me <just kidding> will be well aware of my short comings in the kitchen. Maybe he'll even make up for them by being a great cook. Regardless, I don't think that my performance as a wife will be judged on my meal making skills.

More than anything, I guess I'm surprised that there are people, in my age group, that still see the roles of a marriage in this way. His and Her responsibilities aren't realistic to me. Marriage should be a team effort; each person picking up the slack and supporting the other. Not, the wife does certain wife tasks and the husband does certain husband tasks. I don't buy it and I sure as hell won't marry a man that does. 

I am going to strive to be the best wife I can be. I will love and support my husband in every way that I can. I will bring everything I have to the table and he will love me for that. I won't be a good wife, I will be a great wife; mediocre cooking abilities and all.

Trees

Last week the little boy I nanny took me to his tree house. The tree itself was more like 7 different trees all coming from one root system in the ground, which left a flat space in the center. The perfect place for a 5 year old to climb around without ever being too high.
I grew up on a farm and with that came an extensive childhood of adventuring; more specifically, tree climbing. Tree climbing was second nature to me. Like breathing. I could climb a tree before I knew how to swim or ride a bike. It was in my blood. I would climb as high as possible, find horizontal branches to nap on, swing from branch to branch, and drop from ridiculous heights to get out and do it all over again. It never mattered how raw my hands got or how many scratches my legs collected; still I climbed.
Over the years I grew to have very few tree climbing opportunities. College and jobs replaced climbing and adventuring. It wasn't something I meant to have happen, but it did.
All that being said, you can imagine my joy at having this tree to explore. And at having my camera with me. I could have stayed there for hours. My insides felt so peaceful and warm; like there was a tiny light that had been lit inside me. It was like coming home after a very, very extended vacation. And just like riding a bike, I found myself climbing and exploring every branch of this tree system.

an empty next sitting in one of the branches

this neighboring tree had been uprooted.  Pretty powerful stuff.

These days I find myself having 3 jobs, nannying being one of them, and barely any time to breathe let alone enjoy some "me" time. It's nice to know though that now I have this warm place to go to on occasion. I always am realizing that I need to start finding the "me" time before I work myself into a knot with no way out. Because if I don't take care of me, who will?

creativity

The creative is the place that no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.

Alan Alda

I found this quote on the Violet's blog....big thanks ladies (and Alan Alda). I love the idea of my intuition and creativity being a wilderness...some secret place that's always new to explore. Too easily I feel that people get comfortable in their talents, especially creativity. They find something their good at and stick to it, never pushing the boundaries to see what's over the edge. 

plus the visual image of me finding myself in the middle of an uncharted forest is pretty lovely.

chameleon

Lately I've been thinking a lot about who I am. And slowly I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm a lot of different types of people, all in one. Now, most people would say something like "you just haven't figured out who you are yet", but I disagree. I don't find myself feeling a need to identify with any one type of person; or even two types for that matter.  I enjoy being able to relate to anyone I come across...no matter what their walk of life. Like a chameleon, I adapt to my surroundings but still remain myself. Even in high school I was never one to belong to any one "clique" of kids. I was cool with the jocks, band kids, musical types, and special ed students. I give a lot of the credit for this to my school though. It wasn't very big and everyone did a little of everything which made it easy for everyone to get along. But it was definitely a foundation for me.

T-Shirt from Blend Apparel

At times I feel like I'm cheating on some parts of myself when I'm favoring one type or another. Or like I HAVE to choose a few and stick to them. But then I realize that ignoring those other parts, no matter how small they are, would be untrue to myself. And that I can not do. Even if my different types tend to contradict each other, I still think it's important to recognize and accept them.
Who knows, maybe over time I'll become more of one type or another, but I really hope that doesn't happen. Being as extroverted as I am (and trust me...I AM) it's really convenient to be able to make friends so simply.
So......who am I? I'm an extroverted tomboy in a skirt. I'm a loyal friend and loving family member. I would cease to exist without music, delicious foods and lots of laughter. I'm a child of God with a bit of a dark streak.

I'm a parfait of personality!  And that's just the way I like it.   

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."
— Audrey Hepburn

Zorro

Last week I got into a car accident. I walked away without a scratch and no one else was involved, but my car was deemed 'totalled'. So for the last week insurance companies, rental cars, and dealerships had taken over my life. Hence my non-existence and lack of posts.
Now, let's go back in time a bit, to the summer of 2009.
I had just graduated college and was planned to go to Vero Beach, Florida for a theatre internship. Throughout my college years I drove a '98 Chevy Malibu that my dad bought off my cousin. It was a good car; got me from point A to point B, most of the time. But it had seen much better days and I was pretty certain that it wouldn't stand the drive to Florida. So, the hunt began. I searched high and low, looking for the right vehicle to call my own. And in June, I found it. A 2009 Ford Escape; Black; with a sunroof, 6 CD changer, and at a reasonable price. It was love. After a few weeks of collaboration a name came together, ZORRO. He was dark and speedy and always there when I needed him. He was MY first car. I enjoyed writing the check and sending in the car payment every month. It was all worth it because I loved my Zorro that much.

That being said, you can imagine the heartbreak I felt when I heard the words "total loss" in regards to my vehicle. It is 2 years to the month that he came into my life and in all honesty, I was not prepared for him to leave. I know I know, it's just a car and the important things is that I'm okay. But I still feel a great deal of sadness about it. Especially now that I have a new vehicle that I don't really like at all.
So, this one goes out to you Zorro. Thank you for protecting me in your final ride. You were a great car and we had some wonderful times together. No car will be able to replace the spot you have in my heart.

Love Always,
Your Partner in Crime, Sarah

It is little men know of women; their smiles and their tears alike are seldom what they seem. - Amelia Barr

the rain.

my adorable wellies!

the rain makes me feel drab. correction: the gray sky that comes with the rain makes me feel drab. My only solace that comes with this type of weather is getting to wear my adorable wellies ( and yes, they are adorable).

I need sunshine. I need warm weather. These are imperative to my survival (maybe I'm part lizard?). After such a long winter I'm having trouble fighting off this down feeling on a rainy day. And it only seems to spread through the rest of my life. My energy is gray. My ambition is gray. My creativity is gray. I'm restless and I hate it.

This weather needs to break before I do.

A-dor-a-ble

could this be any cuter?! Sometimes I wish guys still got this way after a first kiss....

my favorite things

so many favorites....so little time....

• Driving with my sunroof open
• wearing shorts
• Green Monster smoothies
• Kung Fu Panda 2
• Outlet Malls
• my talent to sew
• Overnight Vacations with John Deere
• having fun at work
• mixed CD's
• Reusable cups/mugs