3 kinds of people

Recently I heard someone say that there are 3 kinds of people: The Gullible, The Cynical, and The Healthy. I quickly began trying to figure out which of these 3 people I am. I quickly realized that I've been all 3 within my short life.  I've let people in too soon and allowed them to know the inner workings of myself before really know who they are. So many times this led to being taken advantage of and hurt very badly by these people. I have also been extremely cynical. There were times when there was no joy or happiness and everyone was an enemy. It was easier to protect myself if I didn't let anyone in and remained closed off. So much of these 2 sides of me came and went in college....a coincidence? I think not. I let the wrong people too far into my life and kept the good people at arms length. Backwards...I know. And it wasn't until last May that I started to find a happy balance. A balance between trusting entirely and closing all my doors; The Healthy. So what is my healthy? My healthy is a teeter-totter really. I think it will always tip to the gullible side a little more though. I guess in my mind it makes more sense to take a chance on someone, rather than closing myself off to something that could be great. There will always be those people though who I will need to be closed off to from the start and I'd like to think that my experiences so far allow me to recognize them quickly. I know I will most certainly get hurt, but that's LIFE. No one said it was perfect or easy or happy all the time. So here's to being The Healthy! Now all I have to do is keep my teeter-totter there and not let it fall to one side or the other.  

my favorite things

Since it's Monday and all...

• my new mark Zip Around bag!
• having adult conversations
• quilting with the women who loved my grandma
• sunshine pouring into my windows
• pancakes!
• reruns of True Life

Spring-

-has tried to sprung! Last week the sun came out, the temperature picked up, and the snow melted away. The earth was mud covered but I could have cared less. It was so nice just to breathe warm air again and shed the winter coat. And best of all...flowers began to bloom. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the first Impatience start to poke their purple heads out of the ground. It almost makes all that snow and dreary winterness worth it...almost.

Impatience growing in my Poppop's garden!

Just look at those happy little flowers! Trying their darndest to bloom and bring joy to the world! I love 'em. Sadly though, only days later, the snow returned to WNY and buried all the pretty flowers. Such is the bi-polar month of March. But it means that Spring is trying and will soon be here in full swing. I. Can't. Wait!

Never will I ever...

...go sky diving...

...wrestle an alligator...

...be 120lbs...

...pierce my bellybutton...

...play baseball and be good at it...

...be a super model...

...do a triathlon...

...stop choosing to be happy everyday...

...go streaking...

...have an affair...

...hate someone for no legitimate reason...

...be Miss America...

...give up on doing what I love to do...

...stop liking sports...

...dumb myself down to attract men...

...get a tattoo on my face...

...be someone's doormat...

...say 'I Love You' and not mean it...

...and I wouldn't have it any other way!

To: The father of my future unborn child

I've seen this commercial lately, for cable or something, where this pregnant woman is going from room to room trying to sit down and get comfortable. Meanwhile her husband simply goes wherever she does and asks her if she's comfortable. I like this very much. I know that whenever you do knock me up I won't be totally immobile or dependent on you, I'm too stubborn. But at the same time I want you to be there for me 150% of the way, wanting to do anything you can to help me. Being pregnant isn't my job alone. If you're gonna go impregnating me then you better be prepared to support me for the next 9 months and beyond. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Love Forever and Always,

The mother of your future unborn child

my favorite things

just a few faves recently:

• 70's disco radio on iTunes
• learning about hockey
• my new knitting book Stitch 'n Bitch 
• paying off one of my school loans!  {sigh}

so much love

There's nothing like a birthday to help you feel some serious love from the people around you. Over my 24 years I've have a variety of hits and misses when it came to my birthday. More hits luckily, but there were a few boring and lonely days mixed in there too. This year was so much better than I imagined it could be. I had planned on a pretty chill weekend. As far as I'm concerned it's just another day really so I didn't need a wild party or huge celebration. I just wanted to be with the people I care about and enjoy their company. And that's exactly what I did. Looking back on the weekend, I can't help but realize that the majority of the people I spent time with are people I've newly met since moving back home in May. {Coincidence, I think not} I'm so grateful for these people and I feel SO blessed to have met them and call them friends. I can honestly say it was one of the happiest birthdays I can recall. Thank you to everyone who made it so! I love you all!!!

my favorite things

after an amazing birthday weekend, here are some of my favorite things!

• Road Trips/Mini Vacations
• Birthday treats!
• Chipotle
• Locally brewed beers
• amazing friends
• homemade cards

24

24 years ago a 24 year old woman went through 36 hours of labor to bring ME into the world. At the ripe age of 24 she was having her first child (crazy). I'm not the type to make a big deal out of my birthday. It's just another day really. But something about the fact that I'm now the same age that my mom was when she had me, strikes a chord. Maybe it's because the idea of being married, let alone having a child, right now is almost unfathomable. I can't imagine what my mothers life was like at that time. She was probably scared, tired, nervous, and happy all at once. What would my life be like if I were expecting a child RIGHT NOW? Again, crazy. On the same note, I'm only turning 24 today so WHO KNOWS what the next year will bring. I look forward to looking back at this post and seeing how my life has changed. Let's hope it's nothing too drastic.
I have to give my mom serious credit for making it out alive and sane. She is certainly going to be my go-to whenever I do have children. So I guess this is really a Thank You to my mom. Thank you for helping shape the person I am and being there for me every step of the way. I hope I didn't stress you out too much!  Here's to the next 24 years!

brain on over-drive

The best way to describe the way my brain is would be a stock ticker. It never stops. It just runs, thought after thought. Some are entirely random, some aren't. Sleep or stupid TV shows are my only real break from it. At times, like in the blogosphere, it's a great thing. I can get my thoughts out there and sometimes other people can relate to whatever it is I'm talking about. It's a great feeling when someone else says that they were helped or inspired by something I wrote.  You never know how your ideas will be taken by other people or if they'll even be read. ANYWHO...on the opposite end of that comes the over-thinking of things. With such an active brain I tend to over think things and usually I think them into the negative. Can we say unproductive??!! I'll take a normal situation and slowly turn it into something that it probably isn't. I prepare myself for the worst too. Somewhere in my mind I tell myself that if I expect the worst, when it happens I won't be taken off guard by it. And if great things do happen then I'll be pleasantly surprised. While this seems like a "safe" way to look at things I can't help but wonder if it's healthy. Why wouldn't I expect the best for myself? Maybe because that's not always what life deals out. I was discussing my "turn to the negative" thinking with someone the other day and he flat out said to me "stop it. don't do that with me". I couldn't help but be a little stunned. He said it so matter-of-factly, like I have a switch. If only it were that easy. So I started thinking about it. How do I shut my brain off, when I'm not sleeping? And more importantly, keep it from picking things apart and turning every little bit into a negative. I don't even know where to begin. I'm not a negative person at all so it's not like I need to focus my thoughts on rainbows and sunshine. Maybe it starts with catching the negatives when they start. Recognizing them and stopping them. NOT taking apart every situation and analyzing it to the Nth degree. If that doesn't start to work....well...I guess I'll have to think of something else. In the mean time, I will keep using this as a tool to get things out of my head and hopefully that will slow the ticker down a bit a little. It definitely feels good to get things out there. It brings clarity to things that I would usually just keep in my head and never work through. Thank you blog!

What's so great about you anyway??

When you think about YOU what's the first thing that comes to mind? Is it something negative or critical? If so, CUT IT OUT! Instead ask yourself "what's great about me?" and the answer is NOT allowed to be "nothing". If you don't know that there are great things about you then no one else will know them either. Are you creative or thoughtful? Do you have a great ass or perfect teeth? It doesn't matter what it is, just find it and know it! There's a huge difference between being cocky/full of yourself and having self-assurance. Being full of yourself just makes you ugly on the inside and outside. But self confidence can really take you places. AND it's contagious.
So ask yourself, right now, "What's so great about me?" and then answer yourself. You don't have to tell anyone, just yourself, and really believe it. Loving yourself is the first step to letting someone else love you too!

Move Me Music

I don't know what it is about this song but it always moves me. The lyrics aren't necessarily happy but the music itself it really what gets me. There's something about an orchestra that gives me goosebumps. Plus this song was used for the iconic ending to Cruel Intentions (if you haven't seen it, WATCH IT!). Enjoy xoxo