3.02.2011
brain on over-drive
The best way to describe the way my brain is would be a stock ticker. It never stops. It just runs, thought after thought. Some are entirely random, some aren't. Sleep or stupid TV shows are my only real break from it. At times, like in the blogosphere, it's a great thing. I can get my thoughts out there and sometimes other people can relate to whatever it is I'm talking about. It's a great feeling when someone else says that they were helped or inspired by something I wrote. You never know how your ideas will be taken by other people or if they'll even be read. ANYWHO...on the opposite end of that comes the over-thinking of things. With such an active brain I tend to over think things and usually I think them into the negative. Can we say unproductive??!! I'll take a normal situation and slowly turn it into something that it probably isn't. I prepare myself for the worst too. Somewhere in my mind I tell myself that if I expect the worst, when it happens I won't be taken off guard by it. And if great things do happen then I'll be pleasantly surprised. While this seems like a "safe" way to look at things I can't help but wonder if it's healthy. Why wouldn't I expect the best for myself? Maybe because that's not always what life deals out. I was discussing my "turn to the negative" thinking with someone the other day and he flat out said to me "stop it. don't do that with me". I couldn't help but be a little stunned. He said it so matter-of-factly, like I have a switch. If only it were that easy. So I started thinking about it. How do I shut my brain off, when I'm not sleeping? And more importantly, keep it from picking things apart and turning every little bit into a negative. I don't even know where to begin. I'm not a negative person at all so it's not like I need to focus my thoughts on rainbows and sunshine. Maybe it starts with catching the negatives when they start. Recognizing them and stopping them. NOT taking apart every situation and analyzing it to the Nth degree. If that doesn't start to work....well...I guess I'll have to think of something else. In the mean time, I will keep using this as a tool to get things out of my head and hopefully that will slow the ticker down a bit a little. It definitely feels good to get things out there. It brings clarity to things that I would usually just keep in my head and never work through. Thank you blog!
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Hey, it's Nia. And I began to think when we were ASMing it together, how alike we were. And after reading this, I think we're the same person spread across two bodies. I do the exact same thing and it sucks sometimes. I know I overthink and it keeps me up at night. What I found most helpful is just writing and writing, getting my thoughts out of my system. And since I know they were mostly negative, I'd write over and over the same lines to a point where I couldn't read what I wrote. It helps, a lot. And so then my negative thoughts are lost on paper and I don't remember what I wrote so only the positive is left. Maybe we should talk more often. It could do us some good. <3
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone, my dear. Even at my advanced age(hee) I do this. I'll replay conversational snippets or minor events from the day/week/year until I'm positive I've offended someone, or disappointed someone, or misinterpreted someone, etc. The only advice I can give is try to recognize when you are doing that, and realize that the conclusions you reach are almost always only in your mind. I can't count the times I've apologized to someone over something that was stuck in my head for days, only to find out they weren't even aware it had happened.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm going to go agonize over whether this was the right thing to post. ;-)