thank you for the kiss

In the early morning hours of my 22nd birthday I had just returned to my dorm from doing I don't remember what. I wasn't expecting much from this particular birthday since my only plans were to get in a car in a few hours and take the long drive to Burmingham, Alabama for a theatre conference. The year after your 21st birthday you don't really expect much in the way of specialness. Or I didn't anyways.

 As I walked to my room there was a knock at the door. I wasn't expecting anyone so I was curious about who it could have been at that hour. I opened the door and the next thing I know, I'm being kissed. And not only am I being kissed, I'm being kissed in a way that every girl dreams about. That out of nowhere, takes you by surprise, shock melting into surrender type of kiss. He was nervous at first, his hands shook a little on my face. But the man in him quickly took over and he was in charge. It was a glorious kiss. One for the record books. And as soon as it had started it was over. He said "Happy Birthday Sarah. I'll see you when you get back" and was gone. Just like that. A hit and run.

While not much came out of that kiss romantically, it's a wonderful memory I will keep with me forever. That was the Jake I knew. He was fearless in so many ways and always "went into the basement" as we had learned in Improv class. He was one of the funniest people I've known and I feel so fortunate to call him a friend. His legacy at Eckerd will long be remembered through his Improv troupe, Another Man's Trash, his servants heart and his over all amazing-ness as a person.

Jake, my heart is so very heavy over the loss of you. I pray that you have found a peace that passes all understanding. I'll never forget the times we shared together, the way I never knew how seriously to take you whenever you hit on me, or how you would squish yourself next to me in that red chair during class. I'm still grateful to you for letting me work with AMT as your "stage manager". It's something that I keep on my resume to this day. I miss you so very much.

Thank you for the kiss.

city eats

That's one big Burrito Enchilado!

While Cassie was here we ate and then we ate, and then we ate some more. All the places we went to were super delicious, decently priced, and all over the map. One of the things I'd been looking forward to when I moved here was exploring different cuisine so not only was the weekend awesome but getting to try new restaurants made it that much better. So I figured I'd share the new wealth with all of you! Let me know if you've tried any of these and how you feel about them! And if you have any suggestions for other awesome spots, I'm all ears!

Carmine's; Times Square- Family Style Italian. Need I say more? The portions are huge and the atmosphere makes you feel like you're in your own home.....with about 100 of your family members.  The penne a la vodka is superb.

Pizza Suprema; Chelsea- You want to eat the best pizza in NYC? Well head towards Madison Square Garden and kiddie corner to that you'll find this hole in the wall pizza place. It's been owned by the same family for 45 years which makes it pretty legit in my book. Let me suggest the White slice.

Nomad; East Village- I actually found this spot through a Groupon deal that I didn't end up getting to buy but the menu looked so good we just had to go anyway. The cuisine is North African and the decor certainly matches. We shared all our food (3 appetizers, 1 entree, and dessert) and had a really great experience.  The hummus was perfect and the seafood cous cous was excellent.

Mole; Upper East Side- How else would we celebrate Cinco de Mayo than having some super large portions of Mexican food(the proof is in the picture!) The place was really crowded but it was worth the wait for the delicious food that followed. Oh, and that burrito was SO good for breakfast a couple days later, no shame in my game!!! 

3 of Cups; East Village- Of course we had to go here! It's our most favorite place so obviously we had to take my sister! It was just a glorious as ever.

Bon Apetit!

sister visit

Cassie having her first NYC hotdog!

Last weekend my sister came to visit for a few days and boy did we have fun. We may have spent 90% of our time eating but it was a great time nonetheless. She had only been to the city once before (on a bus trip.....terrible idea) so I was excited to show her the city that I've come to know so far and there were still plenty of places that I haven't even been yet that we got to check out together. I don't remember the last time we spent that much time together, just us. It's weird when you realize that you're to the age where you may never live in the same place as your sibling. Sure we go off to college but when you're there you know it's only temporary, and you certainly aren't thinking about where you and your sister will settle down someday. Or that it might not end up being anywhere near each other. For the record, being a nanny WILL make you start to think about these things!!

 

We  visited the World Trade Center and found St. Paul's Chapel, which is the oldest functioning church in Manhattan. It's directly across the street from the World Trade Center and was somehow undamaged on September 11th. The inside still acts as a memorial so it was really cool to go inside and see it all. Living in Western New York during that time I felt so removed from it all but now that I'm here it's crazy to think about the fact that most of the people I've met, were here for it all and experienced it first hand. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like. 

 Our family happens to love going to museums and Cassie and I are definitely no exception. When my dad and poppop were here for my birthday they ended up going to the American Museum of Natural History while I was at work one morning. I was crushed! So it became a necessity when Cassie was here. It also happened that one of the exhibits at the time was all about whales, so I just had to see it. 

I couldn't believe how much is actually in that building! We definitely could have spent the entire day inside and still wouldn't have seen everything. I loved the whales obviously and we both enjoyed the animal exhibits. They look so real!! 

I'm also convinced that everything in that museum DOES come to life at night.

Of course we had to stroll around Central Park! And in our strollings we happened to stumble upon a Wafels and Dinges truck! If you haven't experienced one of these, it's a must! Any description I try to give won't do these treats justice so I won't begin to try. Just know that if you happen to stumble upon one, just do it!

In honor of Cinco de Mayo(which was actually the next day) we got a little fancy for a Mexican feast! Why wouldn't we?? Our meal was amazing but somehow Cassie ended up with all the other pictures from the evening. Between her camera and mine, we'd have a complete album of our trip.

Just look at these two fools. Having the time of their lives

The final day of Cassie's visit was spent at the zoo! I'm sorry, but there is something about the zoo that will always bring out the child in me. I could see the same animals everyday and still get excited. 

I just love animals!

I was surprised at how many animals they keep at this zoo. It's in central park so I wasn't expecting a whole lot but it was really great. Every now and then I'd forget that I was in the middle of the city! 

The polar bear was my particular favorite, even though he was asleep and we all enjoyed the children's zoo too. The large turtle shells, in particular, gave us about 20 minutes of pure childish entertainment. 

Overall the weekend was amazing! We ate too much, took naps every day, walked till our feet hurt, and bonded like we hadn't done in a while. It was just what we both needed. I hope now that the next time she comes to visit she won't be so afraid of the subways and I can show her even more of my new city.

forgetting my face

I walked out of my apartment this morning with a deadline ahead. I had to go to North, to the bronx then head South to work, dropping off my library book on the way. As I was getting to the subway I realized that I had forgotten to put on makeup this morning. I had gone into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face and went about getting ready. Not even a layer of mascara (my usual staple) was applied.

At first the usual flood of terror that rushes over a naked faced gal hit me. I thought about the contents of my purse. Was there a bag of makeup-to-go floating around in there? There was not. Did I have time in my deadline to stop at a drug store to purchase some emergency supplies? I wasn't sure, nor did I want to spend the money to buy things I already had at home (an adult way of thinking??? could be). What would the guys at work think? Would they comment on how I looked different this morning or say that I looked tired? I began to get a tad stressed over the idea.

Then, as quickly as the flood of nervousness had come, it was gone. I didn't really care to stress about it. In fact, I felt a little sense of relief. My face, the way it naturally looks, was out there in the world, the way it's meant to be. And if someone was going to say something about it, oh well. There are plenty of other faces out there for them to look at. It was wonderful not worrying about my eye liner running when a rain drop hit my eye. When I had an itch I didn't see all my eye shadow on the end my finger and I was glad.

Sometimes I forget that I'm not so bad off without makeup. Sure it can help, but it's ok to not use it too. And I'm sure my skin appreciates the fresh air. It's funny how in forgetting to put on "my face" this morning, I ended up remembering my face after all.

On: being taken care of

A month or so ago I went out to lunch with one of the bartenders I work with. Out of many of my other co-workers he and I seem to get along on a deeper level which makes it easy to talk to each other about  a lot of things. At one point we got onto the topic of past relationships and how they can form us into the people we are today. How we learn from out mistakes and take the good bits as reminders for the future. How it makes me a little uncomfortable when a guy buys me a drink, even in the friendliest way. How I tend to take it personally when the fellas at my other job won't let me carry cases of wine, not because they think I can't, but because they're being gentlemen. And then my friend said something that made me feel so exposed...

You don't know how to be taken care of. 

The words slapped me in the face and before I could give it a second thought I said:

You're absolutely right.

And he was. Absolutely right.

At the ripe age of 26 I've got this whole-taking-care-of-myself pretty down. Sure I'm still learning things as I go along but for the most part I've been fairly self sufficient for a while now. I can rig a toilet with the best of them, change a tire like a pro, budget my money to a tee, and I'm even blazing the frontier of cooking, And to be quite honest, it feels amazing. I've felt more like my true self lately than I have in a long time.

But maybe, just maybe, I've become a little too good at it. I've always had this idea of being in a relationship that's very much like a team. He and I making up for each others short comings, picking each other up when the other is down, taking care of each other. Being single for the last 3 years it seems as though I've just filled all those holes in myself. And maybe, just maybe that keeps someone from coming along to do it instead. Maybe part of taking care of myself is letting someone else take care of me sometimes too. Admitting that sometimes I do want/need to be taken care of. That maybe someone else will be better at it in ways than I am.

So I think it's time that I start to change my way of thinking. I think I need to start stifling that little voice that creeps up in my head that says "don't let them make you look weak" whenever someone lends a helping hand. Time to realize that there's a difference between a friendly after work drink and taking hand-outs or being pitied. I have wonderful, quality friends who wouldn't do such things and I need to recognize that more.

It's ok to be taken care of sometimes. It's even ok to enjoy it a little too. 

A Happiest of Birthdays...

...to my one and only seester. 

 

 

The last 24 years have been quite the ride!

 I love you lots and I know your 25th will be the best year yet.

Happy Birthday Cassie!

Loving Lately

A few things I can't get enough of recently...

...Wearing my $8 reflective Aviators

...All the glorious sunshine we've been having

...Going for runs around the reservoir in Central Park

...Not needing to wear boots all the time

...Justin Timberlake's new album

...Rooftop bars/outdoor patios

...Reading on the subway

...Leaving my apartment without a coat

...Counting down the days till my sister arrives for a visit (6 days!!)

...Sending mass Snapchats 

Spring Break

When I was going to college...in Florida...Spring Break was a time I looked forward to. Not because it meant a drunken week in Cabo or a fabulous vacation. Instead I was excited for everyone else to go on their Spring Break trips so I could have the pool all to myself and enjoy the ghost town that my campus became. Who needs a fancy trip when you go to college IN FLORIDA?! Am I right? Spring Break was always more of a mindset than a destination. It was a time to relax, stop thinking about responsibilities, and just take a breather. Since graduating from college it's become all the more evident that Spring Break no longer exists (and what a damn shame that is). Unless you're a teacher....like my friend Justin.

When he called me up some weeks ago to tell me that he was considering spending his Spring Break in the city I was obviously thrilled. Since we graduated from college we try to not go over a year without seeing each other somehow and it had been one year and a couple months since our last meeting in Texas. A few weeks later and he was texting me that his plane had landed in NYC and the week that followed was one of the best in my life. I took off work a couple days and managed to get out early on others and I can honestly say it was the best Spring Break I've ever had. Have you ever met or known someone that when you're with them it's like...the best way I can describe it...like your molecules change. Justin is that someone for me. I always feel like my most self when we're together and that's just one of the reasons why he's my best friend. And having him here, at this time in my life when I feel so much change and growth happening, was perfect timing. The combination of him and this city really gave me a sense of myself that I haven't felt in a very long time and the best part is, it stuck. It didn't get on the plane with him like it did when he visited me back home. And I couldn't be more grateful to him for that.

- In our own true spontaneous way we decided it would be a good idea to try and find each other in Time Square upon his arrival. I'm not sure how much time actually passed that we were both there before Justin finally gave in and texted me his location but I was surprised that we ended up fairly close to each other.

 -A good deal of our time was spend in Brooklyn (can I just side note to say that I'm completely IN LOVE with Brooklyn. wow) with our friend from college, Stephen. And what a time we had. There was much singing and drinking and eating and even some bowling too. And the conversations...out of this world. It's so rewarding to spend real quality time with real quality people and these two are just that.

And let me mention that not only is Stephen a quality fella, he's also damn handy. You should probably check out his tumblr Left To Right Furniture where he posts about his adventures in all things wood working. He's always working on something unique and amazing.





-At one point a certain sir ran out of clean shirts....I feel like this isn't the first time this has happened on our adventures. Luckily we're close enough (somehow) to being the same-ish size so there was a good half a day where Justin walked the city in my clothes. It was definitely an interesting look that only he could pull off. It also helps to be in a city where much stranger looking folks are abundant so no one really thinks twice about the guy in a t-shirt that's just a little too small. When in Rome.

We ended up taking a little photoshoot at this particular spot and the guy in the background had quite a few photobombs that I enjoyed discovering after the fact. Some people just can't handle our brand of fun.

-After 4 months of living here I FINALLY made it to Central Park. An event only made more shameful by the fact that I live 2 avenues away from it. I know, I know. It was definitely worth the wait though since the weather had taken a turn for the better. I hadn't realized how much I missed nature since moving here. It's so rejuvenating for me to be amongst trees and grass and fresh air. I can't wait to really utilize the convenience of my apartment to this glorious park as the months go on. I feel like every spare moment I have will be spent on that grass. 

                        

After the week was over and the dust had settled, I couldn't help but look back at it and think "wow, I had no idea how badly I needed that week". The time off, the fresh air, the great company. It was a truly perfect week. Also one of those weeks where you're living in the moment so much that you realize how many pictures you didn't take.

Despite the amazing week we had, I was sad as always when I had to say goodbye to my dearest friend. I always try to keep it together but huge tears rolled down my face as I walked away. The only consolation in our parting this time is that I will be going to Alabama at the end of May for his sisters wedding. Which of course will be another glorious time together.





       BEST SPRING BREAK EVER!!!!

how Sarah got her groove back

March has been a pretty crazy month and there's been so much to talk about but I haven't been feeling so inspired to write a lot lately. I'm not sure why. I feel like it's taken me this month to really get in the groove of both my schedules and get on top of my finances. This last week I've finally felt like I'm in that space. My body has adjusted to my crazy sleep schedule somewhat and I really feel like I can be on top of all the other things in my life too. It feels good. I budget my money each week, I buy groceries to make myself lunches for work, I keep up on my laundry and am paying my bills on time.

The pieces have all fallen into place. It puts a smile on my face just thinking about it. I can't help but feel like I'm in a place in my life that I've always wanted to be in. I've never had my own apartment or payed rent or utilities and such. Now I do all those things and it feels so...natural and comfortable. Like I'm really taking care of myself in a way I've been needing to. Like I'm....dare I say it....an adult(ish)??!! Sure I've been paying bills since I got my first job at 16 but this is different. I've turned into a bit of a different person since moving here. I cook. Not just microwaving some ramen (although it is still a staple at times) but actually using the stove! And I'm not even that bad at it either. My roommate hasn't died yet so that's gotta be a good thing!

The only part of my life that hasn't been nurtured lately is my crafty side. I haven't knitted in over a month and I feel pretty sad about it. It just seems that when I do have free time I'm either resting or cleaning or catching up on something else. My craftiness is obviously a huge part of me so I know I need to find a way to start making time for it too. I know I can't be all work and no play. That's not my bag baby!

On another super exciting note, my Justin Madison Walker will be here in three days! It's been over a year since his brothers wedding which means it's been over a year since we've seen each other. No bueno. So obviously I'm thrilled that not only will he be here for a week but I will be going to Alabama for his sisters wedding at the end of May as well. Everything is just better when he's around so I'm hoping these couple days fly by as quickly as possible.

SO hopefully these feelings of settling-ness will mean more writing here. I did turn 26 somewhere in the last month and it was a pretty great time so I plan on sharing all about it soon.

Oh hey March

So nice to see you again!

So far this lovely month has brought me one thing. A cold. My first of 2013. It's been a pretty mild one though, so I can't really complain (knock on wood). A few sneezes and snuffles never killed anybody...did it? DID IT????

I'm looking forward to this month this year! I think it's going to be a great time to really get some foundation made for my new life here in the city. Since moving here I can't help but feel like the last couple months were a whirlwind and almost like a "blue-print" phase. Figuring out logistics, getting familiar with the location, making sure the ducks were in a row. Let me tell you, those ducks can really be feisty sometimes. A few months of a tornado and then letting the dust settle.

Now, looking at the month ahead, I'm seeing things much clearer.  I have jobs that I can work enough hours at. I've come up with a really smart budget(I think) to make sure that none of my bills are falling to the way side. It seems as though making budgets is fun to me now so I'm actually looking forward to keeping track of my income. I wonder is that's a mid-20's thing. My tax refund and my wonderful dad were a huge help in getting me out of the debt hole I had fallen into when I moved.  I'm making some great new friends and getting closer to the ones I already knew. Paying attention to the foods I'm eating is something I've started to do seriously too. Don't be mistaken, I will always have a serious sweet tooth that needs attention, but I'm becoming much more aware of how many carbs I eat and how little protein my diet usually contains. At work I order my cheeseburger without the huge bun and opt for a side salad instead of my favorite fries. (They're just so darn good!!)

With all this change and clarity happening I can't help but feel like March is going to be great! And if the weather starts getting better then that will make it even sweeter.

Woo March! Bring it!