12.29.2013

Settle

: to move to a place and make it your home

: to become fixed, resolved, or established

: to be content with


This word has been popping in my head a lot. Mostly in terms of my life lately and how it seems to pertain to more than one aspect of it. There seems to be a good deal of non-settling that has lead to other ways of settling. So settle in and hear me out.

In college I slid down the slippery slope of settling (5 points for alliteration!). I dated the wrong fellas and invested in maybe not the best friends. Finally, in my 26th year I'm feeling really clear from all that settling smog. I won't settle for a jerk just because he's cute or shows me a little attention. Deep down if he's a jerk, he's a jerk, and ain't nobody got time for that! I'm feeling really great about the friends I have. They're swell and I love them dearly and we've invested in each other.

Now you might be thinking to yourself "well good for you Sarah....but what's the malfunction"? Oh it's a great thing indeed, except for one simple fact. In my new found non-settling, I seemed to have back-lashed in the total opposite direction too. I've settled into a life of staying home, watching DVR'd television, knitting, and not spending time with my wonderful friends or meeting fellas to even determine whether they're jerks or not. I've settled into being a hermit. You know I've lived in NYC for a little over a year now and I haven't been on 1 date. Not 1. And I can't even sit here and blame the men of the world for that. How could a man ask me out when we don't even meet due to the fact that I've Rapunzel'd myself in my 5th story apartment?? 

I settled in NYC, am finally feeling settled in this place and the people in my life, and somehow settled on just that. Nothing more. It's a real problem.

So, as they say, admitting the problem is the first step. Right? Right. I can only assume that taking action is the next step then. So that's what I'm resolving to do. Time to remain settled in some things and shake things up in others. Find the balance. (I did some yoga last night for the first time in longer than I'd like to admit....so much balance to find) This city is overflowing with great things to do and stellar people to do them with and now that I've been here for a year I have no excuse not to take full advantage. 

Here's to an unsettled settling!! Does the word settle sound and look as odd to you as it does to me now?

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