I'm having some trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year. As it turns out I am scheduled to work on Christmas Eve so making it home for the holidays isn't in the cards for me. While this isn't my first Christmas away from my family it seems to be a little more sad than last time. Last time I had been living away from my family for almost 5 years already. I was used to only going home for a couple weeks at a time from being in college. This time I've only been away for almost a month. To make things a little harder, my roommate was able to go home. Obviously I'm glad that she gets to spend the time with her family, there's no reason why she shouldn't. But being alone on Christmas is definitely going to be strange. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big girl, I know I'll be just fine. And I don't want to sound whiney or anything. Like I said, the whole situation just makes it difficult to feel festive. I did buy some egg nog though, so that's a plus of course. And Karli did buy an adorable Christmas tree, living and all! Overall, it makes me appreciate the years I have spent with my family and I look forward to future holidays with them.
On another bummed note, since my sewing machine didn't get to make the trip to NYC (yet), I didn't get the chance to make the family Christmas pants this year! A fact that I think I'm more bummed out about than they are. I did however buy the fabric for them so I guess that saves me some time for next year!
And the icing on the cake? There's IS NO icing on the cake here. No snow! Don't get me wrong, I'm not a huge fan a snow, but Christmas isn't Christmas without some snow. And it hasn't snowed here once. Not gonna lie, it freaks me out a little bit. I'm still in NY aren't I?
So while this won't be my ideal Christmas the good thing is, it's only one of many I have had and will have. And on that note, I think it's time for some nog and maybe a Christmas flick.
12.23.2012
12.20.2012
subways
It's almost been a month since I've moved here and I'm just starting to feel comfortable riding the subway....to and from work anyway. It's not nearly as daunting as it seemed in the beginning. And with an ipod for tunes it's much more enjoyable.
The only problem is that my musically driven brain tends to want this scene to happen every time I step on the train:
A girl can dream can't she?
12.06.2012
an exchange
He sat across from her on the subway. They had never met before.
Their eyes met. For a mere second alone.
She smiles. He smiles. She looks away, fidgeting with her hands.
Should she look again? Would he?
She does.
He does.
They smile again. Which he followed with a laugh.
She couldn't help but laugh too.
They look away.
Three stops they go. Nothing more happens.
At the stop before hers, he begins to leave.
He faces away from her. She looks.
Seconds feel like years.
The doors open.
She looks.
He turns,
with a wave,
and a smile.
She smiles back.
He leaves.
Their eyes met. For a mere second alone.
She smiles. He smiles. She looks away, fidgeting with her hands.
Should she look again? Would he?
She does.
He does.
They smile again. Which he followed with a laugh.
She couldn't help but laugh too.
They look away.
Three stops they go. Nothing more happens.
At the stop before hers, he begins to leave.
He faces away from her. She looks.
Seconds feel like years.
The doors open.
She looks.
He turns,
with a wave,
and a smile.
She smiles back.
He leaves.
12.04.2012
I live in Manhattan
It still sounds alien to me! And I think it will take some time to get used to. To feel like I'm not on vacation. It's been a week and I can feel myself starting to get used to the vibe here. It's fast. Really fast. Everyone is busy doing their own thing and hustling everywhere.
So many people wear the same thing: black, boots, and buns. Before I came here I thought to myself "well Sarah, be prepared to look under-dressed most of the time". So far that hasn't been the case. For some reason I had this idea that everyone here wore designer clothes and high heels . Not so. Everyday I see people wearing pretty normal outfits. It's almost comforting in a way. They're doing the NYC thing, and I can too. Seems silly, I know.
In a week I went from having 0 jobs to potentially 3 jobs. Let me tell you, both ends of the spectrum are stressful. Trying to find a job, sending resumes, going on interviews, finding more jobs. It's taxing. Then I get one job, I can't say no, plus it's a job I think I'll love. Then another calls. Then another. Now I find myself with options and trying to figure out ways to do it all. I need to do it all. Rent cometh. But I don't think they'll fit as well as my jobs back home. So now I find myself feeling bad having to say No to some and Maybe to others. All the while knowing the job I'll love won't be enough. Stressful.
There are definitely things I'm coming to love though. The gust of wind that hits as a subway train flies by. The ebb and flow of walking down crowded sidewalks. Seeing things that I've only ever seen on tv. The ornate tile work at each subway stop. Discovering my neighborhood and the great little spots in it (I look forward to finding more of them). Seeing friends whom I haven't seen in a very long time. Unlocking the door to my apartment. The tiny wine store down the block.
I'm starting to like it here. And I love that.
So many people wear the same thing: black, boots, and buns. Before I came here I thought to myself "well Sarah, be prepared to look under-dressed most of the time". So far that hasn't been the case. For some reason I had this idea that everyone here wore designer clothes and high heels . Not so. Everyday I see people wearing pretty normal outfits. It's almost comforting in a way. They're doing the NYC thing, and I can too. Seems silly, I know.
In a week I went from having 0 jobs to potentially 3 jobs. Let me tell you, both ends of the spectrum are stressful. Trying to find a job, sending resumes, going on interviews, finding more jobs. It's taxing. Then I get one job, I can't say no, plus it's a job I think I'll love. Then another calls. Then another. Now I find myself with options and trying to figure out ways to do it all. I need to do it all. Rent cometh. But I don't think they'll fit as well as my jobs back home. So now I find myself feeling bad having to say No to some and Maybe to others. All the while knowing the job I'll love won't be enough. Stressful.
There are definitely things I'm coming to love though. The gust of wind that hits as a subway train flies by. The ebb and flow of walking down crowded sidewalks. Seeing things that I've only ever seen on tv. The ornate tile work at each subway stop. Discovering my neighborhood and the great little spots in it (I look forward to finding more of them). Seeing friends whom I haven't seen in a very long time. Unlocking the door to my apartment. The tiny wine store down the block.
I'm starting to like it here. And I love that.
11.19.2012
a dream
So I'm moving to New York City in 9 days. It has been, and continues to be quite the crazy process but this post isn't about that in particular.
I've known that I was going to move this fall since the beginning of 2012. It was time to experience a new place and put my degree to use at a big theatre. I never really put a name or title on it. And as the decision to go to New York City came out, it stayed that way. It was always something I wanted to do but wasn't sure that it would really happen.
At the end of the summer when the wheels really started to get turning on the moving process, a friend of mine started using the words "your dream" in terms of the move. It sounded a little strange to me at first. My dream. For some reason I had never used those words. The more often he said it, the more I realized that it was. Moving to New York City had always been a dream of mine. Living in the Big Apple, in a tiny apartment, riding subways, and doing theatre.
Most of the things that I've done throughout my life were fairly spur of the moment accomplishments. Things I had never really seen myself doing that, once they happened, I loved and never regretted. They weren't things that I thought about doing for years. This is. I've always said that I wanted to live in NYC for 5 years or so. Now that's about to happen.
I can't help but feel that it's all so surreal but not for the fact that I'm moving. I moved across the country for college without ever visiting Florida. Moving itself is not surreal. Fulfilling a life long dream is surreal.
So I'm glad that I have a friend who, even though he didn't know it, helped me recognize my dream. And I can't wait to start this crazy adventure that's ahead of me. It's frightening and exciting all at the same time and no matter how it goes, in the end, I'll have a really great story to tell.
I've known that I was going to move this fall since the beginning of 2012. It was time to experience a new place and put my degree to use at a big theatre. I never really put a name or title on it. And as the decision to go to New York City came out, it stayed that way. It was always something I wanted to do but wasn't sure that it would really happen.
At the end of the summer when the wheels really started to get turning on the moving process, a friend of mine started using the words "your dream" in terms of the move. It sounded a little strange to me at first. My dream. For some reason I had never used those words. The more often he said it, the more I realized that it was. Moving to New York City had always been a dream of mine. Living in the Big Apple, in a tiny apartment, riding subways, and doing theatre.
Most of the things that I've done throughout my life were fairly spur of the moment accomplishments. Things I had never really seen myself doing that, once they happened, I loved and never regretted. They weren't things that I thought about doing for years. This is. I've always said that I wanted to live in NYC for 5 years or so. Now that's about to happen.
I can't help but feel that it's all so surreal but not for the fact that I'm moving. I moved across the country for college without ever visiting Florida. Moving itself is not surreal. Fulfilling a life long dream is surreal.
So I'm glad that I have a friend who, even though he didn't know it, helped me recognize my dream. And I can't wait to start this crazy adventure that's ahead of me. It's frightening and exciting all at the same time and no matter how it goes, in the end, I'll have a really great story to tell.
10.03.2012
friends
It's become clear to me lately that I need to start reevaluating the way I choose friends and whom I choose to keep close to me. Looking back at this summer there seems to be a few huge examples of this and I'm finally becoming aware of it. I get comfortable too quickly and give too much too soon. I ignore red flags about people, or feel like I'm too deep to get myself out once things go south. I assume that just because I wouldn't treat them a certain way that they won't do the same to me. I find myself being hurt a lot lately by people who I thought were my friends.
Growing up, my mom was always teaching me the difference between someone who is an actual friend and someone who is an acquaintance. The fact that she told me that there IS a difference was huge in itself I think. I didn't invest emotionally in people that I felt were not going to invest in me. I could tell the difference. Looking back it seems that I've lost the knack for that.
So I guess the question now is, how do I get back to doing that. I'm sick of being hurt and betrayed by people I let into my life. I'm sick of letting the wrong people get too close to me. And with moving to the city getting closer I can't help but feel that it is imperative that I figure this out. I don't want to be a totally closed off person, that's not me. So I need to find the balance between opening up too much but still being a warm, welcoming person. Or maybe I just need to not care when someone in my life lets me down. Maybe I should come to expect it from anyone? That feels so dark though.
I don't know. For now I think being aware of it is a step in the right direction. Hopefully that will naturally turn into being more choosey with the folks I call friends and those I consider acquaintances.
Growing up, my mom was always teaching me the difference between someone who is an actual friend and someone who is an acquaintance. The fact that she told me that there IS a difference was huge in itself I think. I didn't invest emotionally in people that I felt were not going to invest in me. I could tell the difference. Looking back it seems that I've lost the knack for that.
So I guess the question now is, how do I get back to doing that. I'm sick of being hurt and betrayed by people I let into my life. I'm sick of letting the wrong people get too close to me. And with moving to the city getting closer I can't help but feel that it is imperative that I figure this out. I don't want to be a totally closed off person, that's not me. So I need to find the balance between opening up too much but still being a warm, welcoming person. Or maybe I just need to not care when someone in my life lets me down. Maybe I should come to expect it from anyone? That feels so dark though.
I don't know. For now I think being aware of it is a step in the right direction. Hopefully that will naturally turn into being more choosey with the folks I call friends and those I consider acquaintances.
9.24.2012
Craft Day/DIY
The hotel is dark this entire week which means CRAFT TIME FOR SARAH!!!! It's pretty exciting I know. I've decided that I need to work on at least 1 thing every day this week, big or small. Last night started things off nicely with finishing a hat for a friend of mine. He knows that he's getting a hat but he doesn't know what it looks like so I won't be putting it on here just yet. All that's left is to tie in the ends (blah).
Today I slept in till 11! Pretty scandalous for me. So it was right to work upon awakening. To get into the swing of things I decided to finally do a DIY from my "future projects" board on Pinterest. Too often I want to try something I see on there and then forget or just don't do it. So with great determination I went to choosing my project. Upon scanning my pins I knew which one I would conquer.
Years ago in high school I managed to convince this kid to give me a shirt of this that I adored. It's a men's XL Tee with a picture of Jim Morrison, of The Doors, on it and the lyrics to People Are Strange on the back. I remember being obsessed with it back then but to this day have no idea how I was able to coerce him to give it to me. It's still one of my favorite tees but I don't wear it for much other than sleeping since it's so big on me. It was time to up-cycle it.
Enter Trash to Couture, the super awesome blog where I found this great tutorial on turning a large t-shirt into a cute dolman tee. As a fan of the dolman tee I knew this was the project for me.
Per the directions I went to cutting the sleeves first. Since I've worked with T-shirts before I was more than aware of the fact that cotton will curl as soon as you cut it. So I decided it would be better to measure the sleeve in my arm first then sew the diagonals and cut the excess off afterwards. It made sewing it SO much easier!
I did the same measuring on my hips before doing the gathering portion of the tutorial. I didn't want to sew it too small or not small enough and have to redo it over and over again. Once i marked how far to sew in I guest-timated that starting 4 inches above the hem would be sufficient. Lucky for me it was!
There was really no method here. I simply tucked the fabric as I sewed it. Easy Peasy!
When it came to sewing from the gathering point to the arm I found myself doing a sew-and-check pattern. I would sew it then try it on and sew it again until I thought it looked right. It didn't take too many try's to get it the way I wanted.
I switched things up even more by doing the first step in the tutorial last. I know, I'm a rebel. That way, again, I could cut little by little until it looked the way I wanted it too. I like tees that fall off one shoulder so I prefer a bit of a wider neck.
FINISHED!! And I looooove it! This was SO easy to do and I can't wait to try it on all my other huge shirts!!
There are tons of other really great DIYs on that blog too that I hope to try eventually. That gal is so crafty!
The rest of my day was spent working on a fleece tie blanket to sell on my Etsy page as well as working on a flannel shirt that I had started for myself back at the beginning of the year. Most of the work was already done, it was just a matter of getting the sleeves finished, put on, and hemming the bottom. Such little work yet I'd put it off for this long! Shameful. And even though I wasn't able to finish it today it's now much closer to being done and I'm determined to get it done this week. Hopefully I'll even get to wear it now that the chilly weather is once again upon us.
So there you have it! One crafty Monday in the books! Hopefully the rest of my week will be just as productive!
Today I slept in till 11! Pretty scandalous for me. So it was right to work upon awakening. To get into the swing of things I decided to finally do a DIY from my "future projects" board on Pinterest. Too often I want to try something I see on there and then forget or just don't do it. So with great determination I went to choosing my project. Upon scanning my pins I knew which one I would conquer.
 |
| Just a little large!! Time to fix that! |
Enter Trash to Couture, the super awesome blog where I found this great tutorial on turning a large t-shirt into a cute dolman tee. As a fan of the dolman tee I knew this was the project for me.
Per the directions I went to cutting the sleeves first. Since I've worked with T-shirts before I was more than aware of the fact that cotton will curl as soon as you cut it. So I decided it would be better to measure the sleeve in my arm first then sew the diagonals and cut the excess off afterwards. It made sewing it SO much easier!  |
| No curling here!! |
I switched things up even more by doing the first step in the tutorial last. I know, I'm a rebel. That way, again, I could cut little by little until it looked the way I wanted it too. I like tees that fall off one shoulder so I prefer a bit of a wider neck. 
FINISHED!! And I looooove it! This was SO easy to do and I can't wait to try it on all my other huge shirts!!
There are tons of other really great DIYs on that blog too that I hope to try eventually. That gal is so crafty!
The rest of my day was spent working on a fleece tie blanket to sell on my Etsy page as well as working on a flannel shirt that I had started for myself back at the beginning of the year. Most of the work was already done, it was just a matter of getting the sleeves finished, put on, and hemming the bottom. Such little work yet I'd put it off for this long! Shameful. And even though I wasn't able to finish it today it's now much closer to being done and I'm determined to get it done this week. Hopefully I'll even get to wear it now that the chilly weather is once again upon us.
So there you have it! One crafty Monday in the books! Hopefully the rest of my week will be just as productive!
9.20.2012
the fear
I started going through some of my boxes that have been packed up since I moved home. It was time to get them into totes, throw away stuff I don't want, and organize my life. Part of it was to make more room in my step dad's man cave, part of it was to get ready for NYC. I have A LOT of crap.
As I was going through it all and thinking about where I would put these things in my NYC apartment, it slapped me a little. MY NYC APARTMENT. NYC. It scared me. I hadn't realized how comfortable I had gotten here. How normal it had become. I enjoy seeing the people in my life whenever I feel like. Or at least knowing that they're there. That won't be the case for much longer. And for the first time that's frightening me. I don't know if this is what cold feet feels like but I can imagine that it's similar. And so far it's not enough to keep me from going through with the move, but I fear that it will as November gets closer.
I know moving is a scary thing. Especially since I've chosen one of the biggest cities in the world. But there's something inside me that says I have to do this. And I hope that part stays stronger than this little fear creeping in. Even if I get there and decide to come back in a week.
I feel like this is going to get more stressful as the days go on.
As I was going through it all and thinking about where I would put these things in my NYC apartment, it slapped me a little. MY NYC APARTMENT. NYC. It scared me. I hadn't realized how comfortable I had gotten here. How normal it had become. I enjoy seeing the people in my life whenever I feel like. Or at least knowing that they're there. That won't be the case for much longer. And for the first time that's frightening me. I don't know if this is what cold feet feels like but I can imagine that it's similar. And so far it's not enough to keep me from going through with the move, but I fear that it will as November gets closer.
I know moving is a scary thing. Especially since I've chosen one of the biggest cities in the world. But there's something inside me that says I have to do this. And I hope that part stays stronger than this little fear creeping in. Even if I get there and decide to come back in a week.
I feel like this is going to get more stressful as the days go on.
9.18.2012
love interruption
So I have a confession to make.....I LOVE Jack White's music. Yup, I said it. There something so dark and raw about his music that really captivates me. His first single from his new album Blunderbuss is one such a song so I thought I'd share my love for it with all y'all.
What makes this song even better is that the female vocalist is Ruby Amanfu, who was a contestant on The Sing Off....one of my fave fall shows last year. Her voice is so haunting and soulful so I'm glad to see her again.
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