I made the decision a few months ago that I will be moving away in the fall sometime. I've been living at home for 2 years now and I can't help but feel like it's time to move on and get to doing something with my degree again and this area just isn't the place to do that. While there are some theatre opportunities here there isn't anything that could be full time or enough to really sustain me. It was a tough decision but I think it will be for the best.
So, for the past couple months I've also been applying at theatres all over the country. At this stage in the game I don't really have anything tying to down to one certain place so I'm ready to go anywhere. Needless to say I was very excited about receiving an email to set up a phone interview with a theatre in Washington DC a couple weeks ago. The interview came and went and as far as I could tell it went well. Apparently it didn't matter either way though because I never heard back from them and it's been 2 weeks now.
I was so excited to even have a theatre be interested and I couldn't help but feel like it was a sign that I was doing the right thing. Now that I've been ignored all together I can only think that maybe I was wrong. Maybe this decision isn't the right one. Maybe I'm supposed to stay here. But that idea really does sadden me. Not because I really hate living here, more because I have this underlying feeling that there are many other places for me to be before I settle down here, if I ever do. I'm 25. I'm not married. I don't have children. Why shouldn't I get up and go, see new things, meet new people?
So now I'm always contemplating. Was this the right choice? If I go through with it will I fall flat on my ass and have to move back again? Is this place supposed to be my home for the rest of my life? If it is, what the heck am I supposed to do with myself?? I chose to get a degree in something I love and want to do as a career...was that a mistake?
I'm ready for a big change, but is that what life wants for me too?
"When we make a change, it's so easy to interpret our unsettledness as unhappiness, and our unhappiness as the result of having made the wrong decision. Our mental and emotional states fluctuate madly when we make big changes in our lives, and some days we could tight-rope across Manhattan, and other days we are too weary to clean our teeth. This is normal. This is natural. This is change." - Jeanette Winterson :)
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