5.18.2012

cry baby

It seems like over the last couple months I have been the biggest crier I know!! It's so strange! Sure I cry now and then, usually in a private place. Like a downpour almost. I'd have one big super cry and then be fine for months. No big deal. But like I said, over the last couple months I find myself getting teary over all sorts of things! Last weeks episode of Glee have me sniffling away. Last night I watched the move "Imagine", which is a documentary about John Lennon for those of you who don't know (great movie), and was a teary fool. Last weekend a chef friend of my told me that he's been invited to serve a dinner at the James Beard house...huge tears rolled down my cheeks...of joy of course. I don't know what's come over me.

It all seems to have started after a saddening situation happened. I cried for a few days. Not minutes, days. It was odd. Now ever since then I find myself getting jerked up a few times a week. When I told me sister about it she said "well you're growing up and changing". Is this really what happens?? You turn 25 and the faucet gets turned on? I don't remember signing up for that.

Another part of me can't help but feel that instead of it being a "grown up" thing, maybe it's more of a "opening up" thing. Maybe I've come to a place in my life where I'm allowing myself to feel more emotions and react more openly to things, whether they're good or bad. And I think that's an okay thing. Maybe I've been more emotionless than I knew all these years. Who knows.

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